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Thread: Calling all Midwives!!! Please help!!

  1. #1

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    Default Calling all Midwives!!! Please help!!

    Hi ok first i will give you my history and then see what you think as i am getting NO support for my choices!

    1991 emergancy c-sec with Toxemia
    1994 vaginal birth no probs 11&1/2 hr labour
    1997 vaginal birth no probs 6ish hr labour
    2000 vaginal birth no probs 5ish hr labour
    2002 vaginal birth no probs 4ish hr labour
    2006 elective c-sec due to breech presentation

    Ok so now i am expecting an unexpected bundle on the 26th of April (4wks away), my midwives have been happy to support my decision for a vaginal birth but of course i had to see OB to get clearance and explain my decision. Now my theory and my midwives had agreed that all my labours had progressed problem free without any sign of dramas prior to this last c-sec. So therefore i i would be foolish not to give it a go! Now i really want a vaginal birth as i don't see a need for major abdominal surgery for no reason. I am willing to be at hospital from the start so that they can monitor me all the way and any signs of a problem and i will be more than happy to go in a for a c-sec. I just want to be given the chance to let my body do what it would normally do!!!

    Now because my doc has said that i should have c-sec and that if not then maybe i should think of going to another hospital to birth (completely out of question as there is no where within 2hrs to go!) of course the midwives have to support him! So to h*ll with what i want this is what he wants! I don't blame the midwives they are fantastic here but i know they can't go against him. If i present myself at the hospital they have to let me birth my baby but i want support not negative vibes for my duration of pregnancy left!

    So i need to know as many views as possible! Who thinks what and SHOULD i just bow down and have c-sec??? I don't want to put my baby or myself at risk but there are bigger risks for me on the opperating table with it being my third c-sec! I know the statistics but he don't care his way of thinking is yeah but he is there if i am on the operating table!!!

    Please help anyone everyone. I want as many honest opinions as i can get! So anybody will please answer.
    TIA


  2. #2

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    I'm not a midwife...but I can see you have had 4 problem free natural births that probably would have been 5 if your last baby had got it's head down....I think you are being completely reasonable in wanting a normal birth and you sound well informed and I think you should tell that OB to shove it.
    It is your body, your baby, your birth and your recovery. He is just interested in covering his you-know-what. I think you sense that already
    Good luck hun and don't let anyone push you into surgery that you don't want. Is there another OB there that you can see? Even if you're public if there's someone else you are perfectly within your rights to say that you want nothing to do with this one who is being so unreasonable

  3. #3

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    moving to labour and birth
    Kelly xx

    Creator of BellyBelly.com.au, doula, writer and mother of three amazing children
    Author of Want To Be A Doula? Everything You Need To Know
    Follow me in 2015 as I go Around The World + Kids!
    Forever grateful to my incredible Mod Team and many wonderful members who have been so supportive since 2003.

  4. #4

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    Tobily thanks I need all the support i can get right now!

    As for another OB no he is it! There is one other but he fully backs this one as he is the head one if you know what i mean! I feel like i have no choice but to do what they want, but i know the risks of a third c-sec and me stressing about that whilst on the table is not going to help matters either!!! I jsut wish they could see where i am coming from.
    As i said to DH jsut before, after one c-sec he is willing to let patients TRIAL labour but the first sign of trouble bang you in for a c-sec! So what is the difference! That is all i am asking for a chance to try!!! I said to him first sign of any trouble i will ahve a c-sec, and he said yes but by then you could be bleeding internally and it could be too late! Like WTF is that not same risk you runb trialing after one c-sec!!! He is willing to not let me take a chance on a 0.02%risk difference!!! I am sorry i jsut don't get it!

    At the same time i want support when i go in there not negative vibes! Otherwise i would jsut way well i don't care this is my decision and thats that. But now knowing the midwives have to back him then they are prob only going to be neg too!
    Anyway i have booked a antenatal appoint for next Thurs and i will see what the vibe is that i get from the midwives then! If its jsut a case of they can't SAY what i want to hear, bnut are still going to give me the support i need then i will def go ahead with my decision for a VB!

  5. #5

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    hey katstribe

    this sings very loudly of bully tactics

    they cannot force you to have a c/s, nor can they refuse to tend to you if this is where you wish to birth (turning up fully dilated and about to birth)

    your history indicates no need at all to have a repeat c/s, and in fact you have less risk with a VBAC than with a repeat c/s

    I read your post and I feel that perhaps birthing at home may be an option for you, whether it be with a midwife or with a experienced birth attendant (so this would be freebirth)

    there is always someone that will help

    I am happy to answer any questions on this you have x

  6. #6

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    Blue daisy, i said this to the midwife today, that as i have nothing against me, i don't smoke don't drink and don't do drugs that if i could afford it (this being my problem with 6kids) i would look at this option very seriously!

    Btu with a one income 8 person household we jsut don't have the extra money for this to be an option!
    I am going stir crazy with this, all i want is support (which i had up until this doc started)! Also being a country area i highly doubt these options are available! oh i don't mean i am doubting you jsut don't think we would ahve anyone in the area!

  7. #7

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    big hugs to you katstribe

    I know the private option is not cheap

    then you have 2 options
    freebirth with a support team
    or,
    labor at home, and arrive at the hospital to birth with a strong support team and a good birth plan

    if they force anything apon you, which they cannot do, this is technically assult

    x

  8. #8

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    Bluedaisy could you tell me more about this freebirth with a support team???? I don't understand it!

    i really prefer to labour with someone there hence why i prefer to go in in early labour!
    Don't ask why as i always jsut do my own thing and they never come near me until i am about ready to push. I think its jsut because i like the security.

    Thanks

  9. #9

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    freebirth is not about doing it alone it is about having people around you that make you feel safe and secure

    be guided by your heart, not your head

    the hard work is tending to the laboring woman (as a midwife), the birth is what the mother and baby do without help

  10. #10

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    ok so i am researching this as we chat, so basicly it is homebirthing with no assistance froma medical sort (midwife birth attendant and so on) so jsut you and DH and anyone you know that would be supportive. Is that right????
    If so this is definately not for me, i wish i had that much belief in myself, but i like to know there is amedical person of sorts there!

    Could you give me any info on pricing of homebirthing with professional help in QLD?? I am fairly certain we could not afford it, but i am almost ready to seel my blood to birth my baby my way with some support!

    TIA for any info you can provide i truly appreciate you taking the trime to respond

  11. #11

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    Hi Katstribe
    I think your only option is to labour at home and arrive at the hospital late in your labour, when the OB suggests that you need to go for a CS just sday no.
    I am a homebirth midwife working in Vic and unfortunatly I have a birth due at the same time as you otherwise I would be willing to attend your homebirth at a reduced rate. If this woman in Vic births early and you can hang on for a few extra days maybe we could come to some arrangement re the cost. If you want to talk about this email me.

  12. #12
    paradise lost Guest

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    Some suggestions i thought of...

    Given your labours are 4-5 hours now, you could distract yourself and stay home as long as possible? It usually takes them 40-120mins to prep theatre for a non-emergency c-section (i.e. and "emergency" when there is no immediate danger to anyone) so if you were ready to start pushing within an hour or so of arriving you'd avoid the section. I know someone who had a cord prolapse (so a TRUE emergency) and it still took them 28mins to get her to theatre.

    Insist on epidural (rather than general) but when the aneasthatist arrives suddenly feel really sick and be unable to assume the position or keep still. Anaesthatists are busy, if you can't keep still within about 20mins or so they will arrange to come back in a bit - by which time you'll be pushing and not need them You are in labour, just insist "NOT NOW" when s/he tries to get you sitting/laying how s/he needs you.

    Go to hospital in labour but take unscheduled, random "walks" in the grounds to keep things moving and so that when they come to do examinations (so they can justify the c-section) you aren't there. Leave them a note "gone for some fresh air, back in 10".

    Hospitals only work because of predictability. If you are unpredictable they'll find it VERY hard to get you into theatre. They can't FORCE you, but equally by having great excuses why you can't get the epi right now, or by not being in the actual place they expect when they come to try to convince you, you'll be able to miss alot of the brow-beating too.

    Try to get a doula, or a student doula if that makes it cheaper, to help you keep your humour and control of the situation, and to support you at home until you decide to go in.

    HTH

    Bx

  13. #13

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    hey katstribe

    yes that is what freebirth is

    I too could not birth this way, but I thought I would put it out there as an option

    I do know of a homebirth midwife in rural QLD and even if she is not close to you she may no someone who can help

    pm me if you would like her details

    x

  14. #14

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    Alan thanks heaps i have emailed you for more info.

    Hoobily I think i have just about gone through every scenario in my head! Thanks for giving me some i hadn't thought of, i never even gave the epi one a thought as my births ahve been drug free i didn't stop to consider then wanting to do a epi in prep (how dumb i have had 2 c-secs before). I guess i am jsut not thinking prop at the moment.
    It is about a half hor trip to the hospital from my place, so you can jsut imagine what that trip would be like when i am almost at pushing point!!!

    I said to DH if we have to do it this way whcich i still see as stupid considering they don't want me taking risks but they arte not willing to support me so hence i have to do it on my own and therefore take risks!!!! But anyway i said well we could always go and rent a room at a motel once labour starts, can you imagine how that would look renting a room for a few hours
    Oh gosh i think i have turned into a complete looney now! Anyway if thats what itcomes down to we will prob do that as i can't see myself wanting totravel half an hour in the car right at the end when those contractions are going to be coming thick and fast.

    Anyway thanks heaps everyone for all your support and thoughts so far

  15. #15

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    Where abouts do you live Kat??

  16. #16

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    A smallish town called Nanango. Most people don't know it when its said,but the next town (which is where hospital is) is Kingaroy (peanut country or Sir Joh's home town).

  17. #17

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    Mummabear, Nanango is about 4ish hours from the Gold Coast.

    Katstribe, pitty you couldn't stay closer to Caboolture around the time bub is due because the maternity unit there is meant to be fantastic.
    If your last few labours have reduced by about an hour each and you last one was 4 hours, your next one will probably be 3 hours of less! Why don't you make your way to the hospital when you are in labour then perhaps when you get there you could try to walk around the grounds for a bit or find somewhere compfy to rest and only head into the labour ward when you think all of the action is about to start. At least this way, you might feel a little more secure as the hospital is right there so medical help is never far away. And if you are practically fully dilated when you head into the birthing suites, then bub will probably be born before the Ob even comes to see you.

    I wish you all the best

  18. #18

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    charli'smumma Dh and i have talked non stop about all our options and yeah that one is looking good at this stage.
    I have an appoint with midwife on thursday and i wll be talking in depth to ehr to see exactly what reception i wil lget from them, now that i have had time to process everything i think taht they will be ok (as long as i dont get asnooty one), as they were all keen for me to try and said i would be crazy not given my history! So if i can get one of those MW i will be laughing! But yeah i don't think we will hurry through the doors at teh start! But will def be close just in case.
    Thansk for all the support everyone has given me on here, i wll let you know how thursday goes.

    Cheers
    Kat

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