Im not sure of your details of your traumatic birth with your son. But will share my experience.

I had a traumatic birth with my first induced 12 hours labour but not progressing, drip given 24 hours full labour, Epidural after 12 hours after drip as only 2 cm, pushing stage Julia got stuck ended up in emergency c/s. My recovery was not good and got PND from the traumatic birth and feeding issues. So I chose with Tara's birth I would have c/section - best thing I ever did was see a counsellor to prepare myself for the birth and separate this birth from Julia's traumatic one. My recovery only took 3 days and no painkillers and it was such a happy experience.

If you feel you wish and have the strength to have the birth you want for your child you were unable to give your son I would go for natural birth first. I just wanted to share that my 2nd birth was a good experience even though I opted for elective c/s, I didnt have the mental strength to try another vaginal birth.

Best wishes for your decision.