You are so right Sherie! After my last Angel BAby when I went on my big "fact seeking mission" and went about "interviewing" specialists... I got sooooooo much more info when they could see I really knew what I was talking about...
Also, when you say... This is what is important to me... How can we best achieve that? It may be cord clamping it may be lots of things but using those words... This is important to me because.... It even helps to print out some info - studies are always good! Before all of my appts on my "fact finding mission" I sent ahead studies I had etc. The doctors were forewarned. They knew they were not dealing with a bunny.

Like everyone obs and midwives have "their own way of doing things". We as consumers need to go into an appt with lots of info that we can talk through... He/she then needs to convince YOU of their perspective and why. Ask for studies. Ask for evidence based information not personal opinion.

Sometimes the practitioner will raise points that you may need to go away and reasearch more - or maybe you are comfy with what they say.

THE most important thing is FACTUAL information...

I remember when I had my last live baby I had her at a private hospy. I had not had that before. I had my own midwife (employed by said hospy). I didn't want the obs in the room when I was birthing. FOR ME birth is womans business and I need my dark cave of women/family and of course DH. I chose the obs that would agree not to enter my space unless there was a medical indicator... He sat outside and chatted to my kids as they came in and out, ate donuts and read the paper!

As women we can get what we need for our birthing... We just need to be lovingly assertive and fully informed (I believe...)