thread: Do you feel people judge you?

  1. #19
    BellyBelly Member

    Jun 2005

    Kerry - in the words of one of my friends "your mother in law looks like she has been sucking lemons her whole life"

    Kerrie - I'm glad your Step MIL is nice. My step father is a great man, so it really makes me happy that others have nice step families, when you often here about how horrible they are.

    I think Monster in Law might be the go for the weekend.. I saw the ad on the telly last night and told DH "look your mums on the TV" and he just laughed. I am going past in-laws tomorrow afternoon to show off my ultrasound photo's to DH's very very lovely grandparents and aunts (they all live local) just to annoy MIL.

  2. #20
    Registered User

    Mar 2005


    Sweetie, my advise to you is to ignore everybody and go with what is SAFEST for you considering your injuries, let other people have there opinions, it doesn't concern them ok darl, you do what is ultimatly best for you-you are the one that matters here not them.

    and Im so sorry for the loss of your Dad sweetheart.xx

  3. #21
    Colleen Guest

    Hi Princess...

    I had an elective C-sec due to size.

    My Clinic Doctor made me cry, told me I will be killing my baby etc etc and I was very emotional for days (which I think did more harm to my baby than the c-sec)

    But I did go through with it and it turned out to be the best option. I knew it was, i had that feeling. He was clamped up and stuck in there, 10 pounds, with 10 days til due date and hadnt dropped or anything. They say he would have got stuck and if I had to have had an emergency C-sec i think I would have been hysterical LOL

    So go with what you feel safe with, It DOESNT matter how they get here, as long as they do get here safe, healthy & happy

  4. #22
    BellyBelly Member

    Sep 2004

    Your pg, your body, your baby = YOUR DECISION. Stuff what everybody else says, as long as you have a healthy baby who cares how he/she comes out. Think and concentrate on your parenting skills, the birth will take care of itself once you've made a decision. Good luck.

    PS I had an elective C/S (but was a compulsory C/S due to placenta previa!)

  5. #23
    froofy Guest

    Yes, I think it's a big part of parenting, and certainly one of the hardest things. I stopped breastfeeding at two weeks. Mentioned it to a friend on the phone. 'Oh you should have told me, I would've been able to stop you!' Never mind that myself and my partner had already decided and I felt bad enough about the decision.

    People will nit pick about everything, so it's good to have a generic comeback planned. At the moment for me, I'm copping a lot of flack about our decision to homeschool our daughter. And when ppl get over that, it'll be something else LOL. But I do hope everything goes well for you, just remind yourself you and your partner know what's best for you and bubs. No one else can ever make that call.

  6. #24
    BellyBelly Member

    Jan 2005
    New Zealand

    Just thought I'd join in here, we decided just in the last week to have a home water birth - WELL you can imagine the reaction I get from some people. I'm thinking I'm just not going to say anything about it from now on, becasue we just made the decision it's very hard to stop other peoples opinions make me doubt our decision - AND I hate that!!

    At least in BB we don't have to face any of that judgement, as everyone is so supportive of any decisions we may choose.

  7. #25
    Lee-Ann Guest

    I think it's quite funny how people can judge you no matter which way you want to go. I recently had a friend of mine basically tell me that going public was totally beneath her etc. I'm going public and yes I have gone private before but really don't feel the need to go private this time. I dunno just my personal preference and I don't think I should be judged because of it she started saying how we shouldn't have medicare etc which I strongly disagree with as I don't trust insurance companies (my personal experience). I still get to pick my Ob (and pay for him). I did fall into the trap of justifying myself but at the end of the day it shouldn't matter. Public or Private, c/s or vaginal, etc etc. It alls a personal preference and somethings are out of our control. I think if it seems out of the norm for what that certain person believes they feel they should be able to give their opinions no matter how offensive they might be. I just don't understand some people. #-o

  8. #26
    BellyBelly Member

    Feb 2005
    Happy Valley, Adelaide

    We've chosen public as we actually liked our public hospital better than the private ones near us, and I don't know any OBs so would have been taking pot-luck anyway... since our decision we've had heaps of comments like "what if something goes wrong" or "you're skimping on your baby's birth to save a few dollars" (MIL told us we were stupid because my SIL had a slightly negative experience in another public hospital, so that must make them all really bad!!)... it's really ****ting me because we have had fantastic treatment and we do actually have health insurance, we just chose not to use it. Everyone's different and must make their own choices. I've learnt to just ignore people now.

  9. #27
    BellyBelly Member

    Oct 2004
    Back in Brisvegas :)

    It amazes me that people can make comments like 'you're risking your child's life all for saving a few dollars'. I understood that in many cases, if you or your newborn need extra care; it is not uncommon to be transfered from the private hospital to a public one with better facilities?

    The whole Britney Spears elective C/S brought up a lot of conjecture recently. It's sad when people who have a genuine reason for needing a c/section are criticised. You're not taking the 'easy way out' - you're having major abdominal surgery! If anything, your recovery will be longer and possibly more painful & restrictive initially.

    Sadly, it's because of people like Britney Spears who have an elective C/S so they can 'avoid pain' that people tend to have a generally negative view of C-sections.

  10. #28
    BellyBelly Member

    Jul 2005

    One of my girlfriends is having an elective c and people can not stop judging her and it is none of their business!

    She was in a bad accident about 18 months ago injuring her back severely and when she first met her OB it is what he suggested.

    What I think is upsetting is that women feel a need to justify their decision to have an elective c - size, complications etc. One of my other girlfriends had an elective c because she did not want to go through a vaginal birth and that is her choice.

    Princess I am so sorry that people are judging you It is really not their place to comment but they will anyway. You know why you have made the decision and that is all that matters