Does anything...and I mean anything at all hurt more than child birth?

[amberj]

I have to agree with myson- recovery from episiotomy and major tearing was worse than birth. Yes, birth was exceptionally painful, but fuzzy in memory and it ends. Recovery I recall very clearly indeed and it seemed to go on forever. Try not to have a 9.5lb baby!

[Spring Angel]

TBH birthing my earth baby was a breeze. Almost enjoyable. Emotional pain is much worse IMO.

If you are in the right frame of mind labour is a beautiful thing and isn't painful at all.

Spring xx

[Mad Scientist]

I have to agree with myson- recovery from episiotomy and major tearing was worse than birth. Yes, birth was exceptionally painful, but fuzzy in memory and it ends. Recovery I recall very clearly indeed and it seemed to go on forever. Try not to have a 9.5lb baby!

I'll agree with this one too! And feeling the episiotomy happening because they didn't put enough anaesthetic in. That made labour feel like a walk in the park. Sorry if TMI!

Alibaby - good luck with your labour. To be honest, I loved every minute of it. It is such a fantastic challenge. The whole time I just knew my body could do it. I found the exhaustion is worse than the pain. But it's a bearable pain. I kept waiting for it to get worse and it never did. Not like breaking a limb or cutting yourself really badly. The whole experience just the best and to be totally honest I can't wait to do it again (and I remember clearly what it was like cos it was only a year ago that I was going through it!) ;-) You'll be fine. Probably best to expect the worst so you might be pleasantly surprised :-p

[Ilithyia]

I would call labour intense, at times VERY intense, but not really painful.

We can all add our 2 cents worth here but nothing is going to take away the "fear of the unknown". Until you experience childbirth yourself, your "curiosity" won't be cured.

Try and go in with an open mind. Don't think one or the other.

Have a good support team who know what your ideals are for the birth.

I always give my clients a copy of "A Labour of Love" to listen to in the last week of their pregnancies. They then go on to listen to the CD during the labour. The breathing exercises on the CD give them a focus point.

Don't put to much pressure on yourself. Be open. Literally!

[Sair]

I always give my clients a copy of "A Labour of Love" to listen to in the last week of their pregnancies. They then go on to listen to the CD during the labour. The breathing exercises on the CD give them a focus point.

That is the CD I was talking about, I loved it!

[Ilithyia]

That is the CD I was talking about, I loved it!

Its great isn't it!!!

I highly reccomend it!

[AnyDream]

Fantastically interesting question, I'm enjoying reading people's frank description of the relativity of their pain/sensation in childbirth.

I'm loving ppl saying "gallstones is worse than childbirth". I'm currently having gallstone attacks (yes I need morphine to cope with them) and I'm aware that I'm at the very extreme end of the spectrum BUT childbirth was worse for me than my gallstones. I'd rate the severe pain from gallstones as an 8-9 but childbirth took me into the 10 zone.

However from all my reading and listening to women's experiences, I'm aware that this is not normal at all and probably a poor reflection on the hospital I was in at the time. Or maybe I'm just wired differently to other women.

ETA: In defence of whatever it was that HP's mum wrote, pain that is 10/10 is probably just about as extreme as it gets. It was painful enough to cause me to leave my body and go to the jumping off place, to look my death in the eye. I had to fight to stay here, to stay alive. I'm sorry if that is scary to whoever reads it but both HP's Mum and myself are still here so and in the end that's what matters. In contrast, my neighbour across the road was the one-in-a-million woman who felt exactly ZERO pain during any of her 3 births, only went to the hospital with her first because she was feeling a 'heavy' sensation. It was the baby descending through the birth canal, it crowned just after she waddled through the door. I'm sure that's not normal either. But I'd like to think that BB is a place where every woman's experience is honoured and validated, no matter how extreme or strange it might seem to everyone else.

[AliBaby]

I'm enjoying reading people's frank description of the relativity of their pain/sensation in childbirth.

Me too! I think it is so interesting to know how different people view the idea of pain and what it is to them as it is so true that everyone rates pain differently and we all have different pain thresholds.

I cant believe some of the terrible accidents or medical problems some people have gone through! It really does show how amazingly strong we are as women!

I dont think men would be able to cope with the different types of pain that different ladies on BB have experienced. My DP whinges and carries on when he has a cold!!!!!

[~breeze~]

I dont think men would be able to cope with the different types of pain that different ladies on BB have experienced.

Yep, I totally agree!

[Tobily]

Having never had broken bones or any serious injuries or chronic illnesses before I had my kids - yes, childbirth was the most painful thing my body has ever experienced.

Yet after a 20 hour labour with our first one, I told my DH less than an hour after she was born that I wanted another one asap. Such is the power of happy birthing hormones!

I get asked about the pain factor alot from the mum's I work with...there are some doulas and midwives that like to minimise references to pain and give it other names - while I understand that intellectually and appreciate that there are women for whom this approach works, I don't talk about pain in that way. Primarily I guess because that wasn't my own experience of it, my labours hurt! I guess I don't feel that you can prepare for something unless you know what it is, so I tend not to sugar coat it. But in saying that birthing is painful, the pain is also transformative and it has a purpose - we come through it transformed from women into mothers. It also plays an important role in keeping mother and baby safe during birthing and in triggering responses and events that are important in the process. So for that reason we can embrace it and know that it's not something to fear. It is most definitely not the same as having your leg chopped off.

[Smoke Jaguar]

I'll quote that old chestnut, too, as an addendum to my previous post:
Fear=Tension=Pain
without a doubt! That was one thing missing from my birth experience, fear, which meant the others weren't present in that terrible trifecta

[Freya]

I'll quote that old chestnut, too, as an addendum to my previous post:
Fear=Tension=Pain
without a doubt! That was one thing missing from my birth experience, fear, which meant the others weren't present in that terrible trifecta

Ditto ditto ditto

[Janie]

I'll quote that old chestnut, too, as an addendum to my previous post:
Fear=Tension=Pain
without a doubt! That was one thing missing from my birth experience, fear, which meant the others weren't present in that terrible trifecta

Ditto ditto ditto I can honestly say that I had not one iota of fear in me going into my labour - and I really think it made a difference.

[~breeze~]

I'll quote that old chestnut, too, as an addendum to my previous post:
Fear=Tension=Pain
without a doubt! That was one thing missing from my birth experience, fear, which meant the others weren't present in that terrible trifecta

Hmmmm, I had NO fear coming into my second labour but it was still painful for me.......

[krysalyss]

Well I am going to give my experience of labour but it is different for everyone and I don't think you can necessarily prepare yourself from someone else's experiences. My labor experience of pain was very negative but I am going to post it because people who have these experiences are as normal as those who have great labor experiences. I had a posterior baby and a bad reaction to the induction drug causing tonic contractions. I also have had bad experiences in my life which likely impacted on my birthing experience. I controlled the pain of my contractions through breathing and eventually gas. When I went to the bathroom and had to come off gas the pain was incredible. I was honestly traumatised by the amount of pain and the birthing experience and thought I was going to die. My lifeline was my partner who I eventually got into a headlock lol. But somehow I got through it and although I am glad I wont be doing it again, I am doubly glad for having my most amazing little son who has just captured my heart and made what I went through worth it. I had lots of support (my mil is a midwife plus my DH), prepared myself as much as I could physically and mentally, and was actually looking forward to the birth at the time. I think you can get overly scared by the prospect of birthing and all you can do is be as educated as you can. I personally suspect the last few tiring weeks of being stretched and huge are so we get over being pregnant look forward to the birth. LOL

[krisp]

But I'd like to think that BB is a place where every woman's experience is honoured and validated, no matter how extreme or strange it might seem to everyone else.

I second that, we all have different birthing experiences, some are just horrific and some are blissful. Each experience is as valid as the next and BB is often the one place where we feel free to be open and honest. It may scare some people but it's OUR truth. Please lets all accept each other as we are, scarey stories, sad stories, wonderful experiences and ugly truths.

We are who we are - wonderful, strong and HONEST women...

[Lolli]

I think this is a fantastic thread because it shows how very individual everyone's birth- and everyones defintion of pain and fear- is.

I have found that very few women ever talk about all birth, the gory bits or the good bits. Talking about it like this- in an open, honest way, where everyone's opinions should be respected, and people can tell the truth- surely that has to be a good thing. Personally, I think that lifting the veil of mystery and silence on birth is a fantastic way to empower women, and have them thinking about what they want out of their birth experience and how to get that to happen.

Opening the lines of honest communication is a good thing for all concernced- we need to know that many other women have been through this, they came through it just fine, and for many it was an uplifiting, powerful experience.

Thanks for starting this thread Ali As I said earlier- knowledge is power. Good on you for wanting to know

[Smoke Jaguar]

Danielle - that's not a saying I made up myself, it's a well known one that absolutely applied to my birthing experience. No fear, no tension and there was nothing I could actually call 'pain'. There was nothing I thought I wouldn't survive or that I couldn't handle or get through. I wish everyone could have the experience I had, though a lot of women aren't prepared to do the homework I did. It's really worth it