Hey Lolpigs, it was actually the SAN where I birthed my first two babies and it was *that* model of care (private obstetrician/private hospital) that I was comparing to my most recent birth experience. For my private births my ob only turned up right at the end, in fact, he missed the birth of my DD (she was very quick). As I said in my letter, I had built a relationship with my ob throughout my pregnancy (and I liked him, he was great) but almost all of my care during labour and in the days afterwards was provided by the hospital midwives. I had never met any of them before and I would never see any of them again. Some of them were absolutely lovely, some of them were not so great. But the most important point for me, comparing my first two births to my most recent birth experience, is just that I didn’t *know* them, I laboured and birthed with strangers.

When I was in labour I found myself doing things that I didn’t really want to do, being directed into an uncomfortable position, being directed to push, managed third stage, things like that. I just did what the midwives said. My experiences weren’t bad or traumatic but I know I just did what they said because I didn’t feel comfortable talking to them and telling them what *I* wanted because I didn’t know them. I only know this now and I only know this because I have experienced a labour and birth where I did know my midwife, I trusted him completely and he knew exactly what I wanted and what was best for me during my labour.

I’m really sorry if this is not what you wanted to hear right now. I have thought very deeply and really hesitated in posting this. I just really didn’t want to say “Yeah it was great”, when the whole purpose of this thread for me was to say, “Well actually, there is a whole lot of room for improvement”.

As for offering drugs, with my first baby, as soon as I walked in the door (I had a contraction on the floor in the foyer) the very first thing they said to me was “Do you want an epidural?” and I said “umm, errr, why, do you think I need one?” and they said “Well you seem to be in a lot of pain” I still **** myself laughing about that. “I’m pushing a baby out of my vagina, I’ve heard it can be mildly unpleasant, I thought YOU being a midwife would have seen this sort of thing before.” I didn’t actually say that, I just thought it, and I never did have an epidural with either of my births there, just gas (and managed third stage).

Lolgpis I really do wish you all the very, very, best for a beautiful birth.