ps. I have seen and heard of 10-11lb babies born without a single tear. They had active births and pushed in an upright position (this is not about fitness or doing laps in labour but moving around in different positions to help the progress of labour) and had great birth support (i.e. doula or birth attendant). The worst position you can be in is flat on your back, against gravity and less circulation for oxygen for baby. Sounds like you need lots of possitive affirmation and confidence, and some good birth education. Private birth education can be so much more beneficial than hospital based education, so perhaps look into that.