Hi Clare,
I wonder if there might be other factors that might help you feel more centered and in control, other than an epidural - which does have side effects? Your first birth sound like was pretty quick for a first time - that must have been pretty intense! Were you induced at all, or was it that fast naturally? Second labours tend to be quite different from first labours - often they're even quicker (gasp!) - but every labour is different and I have heard of subsequent labours being longer than previous labours! Maybe your next labour won't be as intense as the first - sounds like your body works really well and efficently - perhaps there are other ways to help you feel more comfortable and focussed & less overwhelmed, other than spinal pain relief?
Whatever you decide is right for you in the end, I really hope that your next birth experience will be heaps better for you.