hey Clare076,

Your labour sounds very like mine. I had DD at home but it was an intense time. My waters broke at 3am. I had regular but pretty mild contractions until midday, when it started to hurt a little. I was finally examined at 2pm and was 25% effaced, 2cm dilated (which i had been for MONTHS). About 30 minutes later i wanted to push and was told by a laughing midwife (who thought i was just starting and hadn't realised what i let myself in for having a home birth) "for goodness sake don't push!". SHe then went off to the hospital and said she'd be back later on. SHe returned at 4.20pm, by which time i was yelling long and low through contractions to prevent myself from pushing (it was SO hard not to push, but i was genuinely scared i'd rupture my insides) and gave me gas and air. I went on yelling and sucking on the gas until 6pm when she asked if i could pee. When i sat on the loo DD started to crown. I pushed once to deliver her. My actual labour in terms of what they "count" (4cm-delivery) was estimated at less than 3 hours.

I really think being at home made a big difference to me and though the physical sensations of such a quick labour were demanding and extreme, i wouldn't have wanted to miss them. Maybe there are different strategies you could use to retain your sanity while your pelvis does its thing? One thing to bear in mind is that even though it's emotionally hard to deal with, physically a fast labour and a spontaneous birth are signs that your body is extremely good at having babies and your risk of complications is low. Slowing a labour down artificially might change that, is it worth getting more time to think and integrate if you have so much more TO integrate if labour goes wrong? Worth thinking about anyway.

I really think my feeling "in control" was down to being in my own home where i was in charge, being paralysed would have made me feel even less in control. THe midwives were my guests and though this is a very subtle difference in interpersonal hierarchy, it makes a huge difference. They ASKED what i wanted, rather than TELLING me what i was getting. Perhaps getting a doula or your own midwife for pregnancy would help when the time comes? Or going to a less "medical" setting? It's not for everyone, i know, but being at home just provided me with automatic reassurance when i felt i was coming apart at the seams....

HTH

Hana