Female or Male Midwife?

[bon]

I would have no problem with a male midwife for labour and birth, I mean we have male OBs. And I know when I am in labour I couldn't care less who sees my bits. I will admit though that I don't know if I would like a male mid to help me with breastfeeding.

[Fruitwood]

Hi Alan, I have always prefered to see female dr's but after having my first child I found that many of my midwives didn't have children of their own and alot were trainees or temp staff and didn't know what they were talking about. I really hated it when they would say "It gets better"or I know how you feel" and then later I ask them about their children and they say they don't have any. I'm left thinking, well how would you know how I feel. LOL, having said all that, I think that I would now prefer to have an experienced male midwife than a trainee or temp staff female one who doesn't know what they are doing. I also think that my hubby would also work better with a male midwife as he found some of the female ones we had very condesending and that they treated him like an idiot that couldn't even hold a baby even though it was his 2nd. I wish you all the very best with your career move. I think by doing home births and visits you'll definately appeal to alot of first time dads who have toruble relating to alot of the medical terminolgy too and it will put them more at ease. Sometimes it's hard for first time dads to be the only male in the room. Best Wishes and Good Luck

[Fi]

Like many of the others, I think its more about the person than the gender.
I have had pretty much great experiences with most of my midwives anyway, but thats becasue of the type of care I've been in (FBU).
There is a male midwife at my hospital though, and I've heard nothing but great things about him.
Good luck.

[Kazbah]

I answered "I am unsure" as this is my first pregnancy and I have no idea what I'm doing. Would DP be happier with a bloke? He doesn't know - I know he likes the ob/gyn who's a bloke.

Butafter I have experiences with midwives, I guess I'll have a better informed opinion

[MantaRay]

Alan, when I first started reading your posts on BB it was the first time I had come across a male midwife (and I still haven't IRL) and I thought, "how strange, a male midwife". But thinking about it, I don't think it's so strange at all. After all, most obs and gyns are male so it's really no different.

I generally prefer male docs but have a female ob - not because she's female but because she's good and was highly recommended (and I really like her). But it's really in spite of her being female rather than because she is female IYKWIM?

I probably wouldn't engage a private mw, mostly because I have such quick labours that they probably wouldn't make it in time, and I have an ob I really trust. Also at the hossy where the boys were born you have one on one mw care (and with a quick labour I don't really have to worry about shift changes). But if I were to, now that I have thought about it, I would definitely consider a male mw. I think sometimes it is an advantage having someone who is there against the norm IYKWIM, male mws must be there because they really enjoy it, and they must be employed or able to sustain a private practice because they are good at what they do.

I also am a firm believer in giving things a go so you don't have regrets. If you are considering this, you should go for it.

Good luck, I wish you all the very best.

[Ozziehoffy]

Alan, I wouldn't have a problem with it. I think in some ways a male in this field is more understanding and empathetic etc and I think that's due to it not being a "predominant" male role and therefore obviously one you really have a passion about and care.

When I had Joshua to be honest I didn't care if the whole world was there at the time (only took a day to get my dignity back though...lol) but it's not something that is on my mind about is it a male or a female down that end!!

Good luck and it's sad that you'll be leaving QLD I hope whatever you decide it works out for you!!

[Karina]

As long as he has experience and knows what he is doing, is professional etc, I dont think I'd have any problems.

[katkins]

I think my main want is compassion and understanding as well as the knowledge that the midwife is competent and expirienced. If you were in sydney Alan, I'd hire ya if you'd let me try VBA2C's with my next bub!

[BellyBelly]

Alan, you could be our freelance Midwife travelling Australia to service BellyBelly Members!!! I think you'd get enough work by the sound of it!!!

[AmandaJ]

Alan, I had a male midwife (Micheal), he delivered my thrid boy and he was absolutely fantastic, he made me feel comfortable and laughing at his jokes to take my mind off the pain and he also put my DH at ease by explaining to him what was going on, on a blokey level. We both left the hospital feeling that he had been the best midwife we'd ever had. We almost had him again with the birth of our fourth boy which we would have loved, but his shift finished but before he left he came in and said goodbye and good luck, which I thought was lovey. If we ever have another baby I hope that you might still be in QLD as I would defineately have you deliver them.

hugs xoxo

[soul]

I wouldn't have a problem with a male either. When I am in labour I couldn't give a toss who else is in there because my husband is way more compassionate then all the females midwives. Not saying they arn't, he is just better!

Alan has a ver beautiful aura about him and I think he would be the perfect midwife to have in a birth delivery! Got my vote before I even met you! Good luck Kiddo!

[Jas]

Alan,

It terms of a gp, I switched to a female when we were trying ttc because I haben't really been very happy with the male gp's I have found and I felt more comfortable talking with a female, because I felt they understood better.

However, when it comes to my antenatal care I wanted to definitely stick to midwife care rather than seeing an ob. Even though this is our 1st child I have the perception that a midwife would care more about me, my husband and my baby and an ob would be more interested in the facts than the people.

So as far as the midwife being male or female this really wouldn't matter to me. I have read a lot of your posts throughout the forums and the responses you have given seem really helpful and indepth and even though you know the answers to the questions and they seems obvious to you you give a thorough answer and don't treat the person as an idiot because they don't know the answer.

I think I would be comfortable working with you or another male. I feel like the fact you are a midwife shows that you are passionate about what you do and that you really care (why else would anyone be in this profession).

[wardygirl]

It took me a while to think about my response to your poll, Alan. I wasn't sure to begin with, however I then realised how wonderful you are, Alan and that I would want to meet and get to know my m/w regardless of gender. If a repoire was established at the inital meetings then it wouldn't matter to me if the m/w was male or female. So come on down to Melbourne!

[DoulaRelle]

Alan, I agree with the other girls, I don't think it comes down to the gender, I think it is more about the individual. I have heard of plenty of female midwives that are nasty and not very sensitive, and have also heard of female Obs that are also very insensitive.

I have a male OB, and I love him to bits, he is caring, considerate and firm when he needs to be with me. If you are anything like him, then you would be beating away clients with a stick!!!!!!

There is not enough independant midwives in Vic, so I say "come on down!!!"

[kerry]

Firstly, hi Alan, I haven't been around much since my dd was born, you may remember the numerous posts I made while pg with bigfoot, and wanted to thank you for all the support and advice you so freely gave during my sum what troublesome pg. Soooo a huge huge thanks.

I would have no issue wse in hiring a private male midwife. In fact one of the midwives on the team of my ob is male and he was absolutely fantastic. I was only disappointed that his shift ended just as I made my arrival at the hospital. From close friends who use the same ob I can tell you he was considered a godsend during their labours and none of us would have any abject reaction to a male midwife.

I think maybe some of the fathers are a bit iffy but don't really understand this and put it down to some wierd male thing. I just wanted to add here that my P always refered to our male m/w as Dr but just referred to the girls by their name... like doctors are boys and nurses are girls, my P isn't very educated and somewhat chauvanistic so I gave up trying to correct him, our midwife would just look at me and roll his eyes. He once made a comment about not wanting the male m/w there but when I said the ob was a guy he thought about it and realised there really wasn't any difference.

I wish you all the best in this new adventure and stage in your life, and if ever I manage to make it past 3rd trimester again and health permitting I would be honoured to have you as my carer. However due to health conditions it is probable that I would require a hospital birth.

Even though you aim to do homebirthing would you also do private midwifry in a hospital setting? I have decided that at the least I would have a doula or private midwife at any future birth I am blessed with due to issues that arose at Bridie's (formerly bigfoot) birth. Some are detailed in her birth story.

[Rainbows_]

Your right Alan about what you said even though i would consider a guy if he were more caring than a women my hubby would not be impressed with a guy, the only reason i had a guy doctor was because it was an emergency and i was bleeding everywhere and there was no one else around!! Otherwise my hubby would not have permitted it.

[butterfly_warrior]

Absolutely no hesitations what so ever!

In fact, when it comes to medical professionals, I seem to have a preference for men - they seem to be much more caring, gentle and compassionate than many of the women I have encountered in the field.

BW

[Alan]

Trish
Thanks for your comments. No I have never worked at Blacktown hospital. I spent some time at westmead in the late 80’s and at Lithgow a couple of years ago.


Caro
There is no need to say sorry. I can understand that to have a strange man taking a good look ‘down there’ can be very unnerving and upsetting. I respect your decision and thank you for your comments.


Bon
Usually when I help with BF I take a no touch approach. I first explain the basics of BF position, attachment, relax, etc, Then I talk about the babies feeding pattern. I will encourage mum to feed giving verbal prompts. Only if this approach does not work do I actually touch the breast and even then I first ask permission. I never never just grab and stick it in the baby’s mouth.


Furitwood
One of the things I work hard on is trust. To you I am a stranger who is going to see the bits of your body that no stranger should ever see. Also I am going to see you at your most vulnerable. Not only do I need to earn your trust but I also need to keep it. I would never consider saying things like ‘I know how you feel’. We all know that I could never know how a woman feels during labour and birth.


Emma
Thanks for your suggestions. I do intend to have a website and I have some testimonials which I will put on the site


Tulip
I do not consider you to be close-minded. I respect you for honestly expressing your feelings and thoughts.

Katkins
I would be happy for you to try a VBAC no matter how many previous C/S you have had.
Hmmmm Perhaps I would be a little concerned if you had 5 previous C/S LOL


Kelly
That’s not a bad idea. I could get a pink/purple car, perhaps a VW Beatle, It looks a little like a pregnant belly if you squint LOL


Kerry
Yes I do remember Bigfoot. Always thought that was a great nickname. I would be honoured to be your MW and would have no problems working in a hospital setting. I don’t think it’s about where the birth takes place. I think it’s about what the woman wants. I would be happy to help you birth in your back yard, at the beach, or in the back seat of your car if that was what you wanted. My only consideration is to make the birth the mot fantastic experience you have ever had and to ensure the health of you and your baby.