Funny things you said in labour

[Ozstar]

Not sure if this is the right place to post or not so mods please feel free to move.

I was chatting to a friend who recently had a baby and she had me in hysterics with some of the things she said while in labour.

So what are some of the funny things you have said or done while in labour?

[katkins]

I think the worst thing was " Just cut her out!!!!!!! Get her out I can't do this anymore! Give me a C/S!!!!!!!!!" Mind you, when I had to have the c/s a few hrs later, it was NOT what I wanted and it wasn't what I'd call a funny moment. But looking back, it makes me remember that GEEZE labour is painful!

[pansy]

This is'nt really funny but it always sticks in my mind.

My mum was present for the birth of my twin girls and I said to her "Mum,I'm going to be a mum tonight"

[Lucy]

I am sure I posted about this recetnly but here goes again!

With Charlie's birth, the labour suite must have been facing the road, as in the very depths of my mind I must have been able to hear buses driving past......and in transition with Charlie I screeched to my DH "If you don't take me home RIGHT now I am going to get the @#$%^&* bus home"! LOL!

[Erin_25]

I didn't yell at my DH, apart from "I can't do this".....but I did tell my very nice doctor to "get his f@*#ing hands of me"!! the examinations hurt soooo much.

[Bron81]

It wasn't me, it was my sister. The Dr came in to check on her and said not too long to go and my sis wasn't happy with that. So when the Dr asked if she wanted something she said "yes, get me a plunger" no one knew what she was talking about and the Dr asked what for and she said "well if your not going to help me, i'll get this thing out of here myself!"

Everyone wet themselves laughing.

[Ambah]

I can't remember what I said exactly..... but when I started using the gas - I went into absolute hysterics!!! I was nearly rolling off the bed with laughter - tears pouring down my face and everything. DP and the midwife looked flabbergasted, and I can remember trying to convey to them how absolutely hilarious everything was.... And the midwife said she has never seen anyone react like that. But hey, it must be nicknamed 'laughing gas' for a reason mustn't it??
This feeling of euphoric hysteria only lasted a couple of minutes unfortunately LOL

[Karina]

Oh I was boring in labour... I just said "i cant do this anymore", "ok lets go home now" and "cant you make it stop (the contractions)". I also told DH "it hurts" well duhhh!!!

[Willow]

Ambah - I was the same on the gas.

I was in the bath sucking on it and I have no idea why but it sounded to me exactly like the sound that Darth Vader (sp??) makes when he breathes through his mask thingo in Star Wars so I thought it might be amusing to do an impersonation using the gas and said "The force Luke...use the force!" apparently it wasn't just me that found it amusing! Even the midwife was cracking up. My mum still tells that story to everyone!

[*EmJa*]

Hehhe LOL Lucy thats hilarious !!!

mines not really that funny, but anyways...when i was pushing they asked if i wanted a mirror i replyed "wat the f#*K for" (really wish i had now ) and reach done and touch the head "ewww noo way" (again really wish i had now) ah well always next time

[*EmJa*]

PMSL Willow!!!

[mrsmac]

I went a bit mad with the gas too and kept finding everything really funny. At one stage i wanted DH and the midwife to have some too cause it was soooo good (as I kept telling them) I also wanted to ring a friend and make her get drunk and talk to me on the phone cause then we'd feel the same!

[sconeonamission]

funny stuff...

[beckles]

With my eldest, Josh, once i had birthed him and was lifting him to my chest i kept exclaiming "it's a baby, it's a baby" like DER!
With Zak i walked in in transition telling them i wanted an epidural as i was pushing, then when the midwife said you are pushing, you can do it, i told her no i'm not pushing with each word. again when he was birthed as i lifted him the "it's a baby, it's a baby" started again, i just don't get why i do this, i am in absolute awe and amazed that i birthed a baby. i really don't know what i was expecting!
beckles

[beckoes]

isnt me, but i remember when my mum was in labour with my sister, i was 13 and she was in the bathroom with my dad and me hovering around bothering her, she just shouted at my us ''do something usefull and make a cup of tea'' we still joke and say it now 13 years later if someone is just standing around doing nothing!

[Trish]

I was boring too. Well, with Joel. I do remember saying that I wasn't doing this anymore and closing my legs. To which my mother replied it was abit late now to be shutting my legs.

I remember when in labour with Tehya saying that all those women in their homebirth videos were just Bull*****ting. That they had drugs on the side, there is no way you can be so calm and just pant the freaking baby out.

I also asked for an epidural which was just stupid as I was at home !!

[C~Q]

I do remember saying that I wasn't doing this anymore and closing my legs. To which my mother replied it was abit late now to be shutting my legs.

PMSL Trish, that is sooo funny!

With DS I remember going "ooohhh f**k, f**k,f**k," not screaming but quite quietly. DH said not me "don't swear, it's not ladylike" well, you can imagine my reaction and my language to that!

[Neenee Jellybeanie]

When I was in labour with DD2 I was howling and groaning and DP said "ssssh, it's okay" trying to soothe me. I replied "Shoosh me again and I'll punch you!"