Getting through labour again

[s361768]

I have gone post dates (only by a day) but the more I think about going through labour again the more fearful I become...I want to have this baby because I want my body back, but I am scared about doing the hard work to get baby out again.

I guess it is because labour could start any day now and I am just anticipating it...I especially start to worry in the evening time when my braxton hicks start up.

Is there anyone else who has had other previous labours and is still chicken of going through it again? Please tell me this is normal

[paradise lost]

Didn't you have a very difficult/traumatic time the first time round?

You'd be mad NOT to fear it! But this time is going to be great. This time you're not going to "get through" it, as it's going to be much better and easier. This time you're going to be empowered and supported and bring your baby down in a loving environment.

It's gonna hurt and you're gonna realise with each contraction what a powerful and strong woman you are, and realise after each contraction that it felt REALLY hard and yet you did it, and see how amazing you are for that. It's going to get really intense and your brain is going to move into your bum while your body gets the baby out and you're going to ride the crests of those waves beautifully and let your pelvis think for you all. The thoughts of how strong you are and how CAPABLE of birthing will help you to relax and greet the contractions for what they are - the keys turning to unlock the gates. You will be the passage for a new soul to come to earth, and you will recognise how incredible that is. TIme will come when you feel the panic and fear of transition and you're going to feel that panic and then smile inside and know you'll be holding your baby soon. Time will come to push and you're going to push beautifully, and feel yourself open as the baby descends. TIme will come to hold back the pushing and you're going to feel your little one ease and squeeze through into this world.

Time will come when your newborn is lying warm and wet and pink on your chest looking at you with ancient eyes and you will look into each other and know that that was your beginning.

Birth is hard work, women's work, and you are perfectly designed to do it hun. Last time you did it under horrendously stressful circumstances with great success. This time you are wiser and know what you're doing. Enjoy your work this time, and know that you do it with grace and fortitude and strength and are bloody AWESOME.

Loves

Bx

[canberramomma]

Every labour is different, and honestly, you can plan (which is a good thing). I had a nightmare emergency c/s with my first, a planed VBAC without epidural ended up with an emergency c/s with my second. With my third, I was told I would simply have to have a c/s (although this was my littlest child, which was the reason I was given for having to have c/s all along), and next time, I would really like to try a homebirth with minimal intervention as I reckon I could do it!

I guess what I'm trying to say (in my somewhat clumsy way) is that, although it's important to have a plan, it doesn't matter if it doesn't end up the way you planned. It ended up the way it was supposed to.

[s361768]

Thank you so much for the inspiration Hoobley - I should repeat everything that you wrote to me while I am in labour (this time), it was beautifully written, and I am going to make sure I remember what you said when the time comes.

I know I am still frightened because of my first two birth experiences - and I shouldn't forget that this has shaped how I think and feel regarding labour and birth.

I don't really know if I should be so scared after 3 babies

Hugs to you Hoobley

[s361768]

Thank you Carley - I had a doula for my previous birth and my doula is going to be at this birth - and she was great with helping me get through the contractions and the delivery part (which I have never felt before as my first birth was an epidural - right at the last second and my 2nd birth was a CS)

However I am sill terrified - terrified of the unknown, terrified by hospitals, however Hoobley made me think that yes I am possibly more frightened because of my previous experiences.

It would be interesting to know though if other mothers are still hesitant to go through it again - even those that have had positive experiences.

I think that once labour starts - we just have to remind ourselves that we can do it, we are strong women who can birth our own babies - saying this I spend a lot of time thinking what they are going to do to me when I get to hospital. Not very positive thoughts!!!

[KatieRabbit]

That is gorgeous Hoobley. Very moving....

[Erin_25]

[QUOTE=s361768;1135810]

It would be interesting to know though if other mothers are still hesitant to go through it again - even those that have had positive experiences.
QUOTE]

**hands up, jumping up & down**... I had an approx 7hr labor, with no epi (that I'm proud of). Bubs head was the wrong way & I had a small cut but that did not take long to heal at all. So I would say my experience was positive. My DH was great, midwife fantastic & Doc...family friend I love.

But each time we talk about next bubs at Mums group, I'm the only one who is scared to go again & for me its acutally the fear of the "known"...I now know what it's like, have read about not so good experiences & I suppose it's knowing it can go much longer, with more complications etc. I am terrified of what can happen & atm dont know if I could do it again.

Just remember what Hoobley has said, as that was fantastic & I think I'll have to remember that myself.

[fionas]

I'm scared too and I had a pretty good experience first time around. BUT last time I went into it not knowing if I would be a good mum so everything was daunting and childbirth was the first step into the unknown. Now I know I'm an excellent mum so I'm not TOO fussed about the childbirth experience IYKWIM. I know that whatever happens during birthing, I just want to get on with the parenting. I don't think I explained that very well, bit late.

[Cricket]

I think most women are concerned/worried/stressed about labour to some degree during their pregnancy. Even those who have had good experiences (as I have) know that it's going to hurt, and it might not be the same as before.
But, as Hoobley and the others have said, your state of mind makes a HUGE difference.
Don't go in thinking "oh man, this is going to be terrible, I'm afraid, I can't do it, I don't want to, I want an epidural!"
Go in thinking "I can do this, I am strong enough, I was made for this, I'm getting my baby out, bring it on!" And have others with you who can tell you the same thing when you forget.
All the best for a great birth!