Grrr.... C/S the easy way out!

[Arimeh]

Holly - you are fully entitled to have a whinge - and believe me, I know exactly where you are coming from.

At the moment I'm having to deal with telephone calls from my mum, and she puts in things like "oh when you have the baby at the hospital" (no, I'm going to a birth centre) "oh, you'll be out of action for a while after the csection" (um no, I'm getting a VBAC this time round)

So try not to pay too much attention to it, and focus on just you and your bub. Thats what matters.

[Megan]

Holly, I don't get it either. I wanted a VB, but ended up with a c/s and 6 months later I still don't feel fully recovered and still have some discomfort. Why people think that is the "easy" way to have a baby I don't know.
When I went to my workplace after DS was born and mentioned I would like another baby, my old boss said "of course you would, you had an easy pain free birth", right after she also asked me "what's it like to be a lady of leisure?" (huh? a lady of leisure with a newborn?) Some people are just irritating and have these preconceived ideas of how things are and there's no changing their mind.
Good luck with which ever way bub comes into this world.

[Fleur]

Maybe you could ask her why her self esteem is so low she feels the need to "compete" with you about your birth choices!

Maybe she is trying to compensate for her own feelings by belittling you. Not very 'sisterly' but I guess I'm trying to see what might be causing her to act like this...

What kind of birth experience has your sister had? she says you haven't tried to 'push a baby out' - has she had a CS?

I've had both & guess what - there IS no easy way out!

you do what you want hun, birth your way & pfft to her. It's YOUR childs birth, try not to let her comments get you down.

Mel - I am looking forward to seeing your VBA2C BA!

[Winter]

Sisters press every button known to exist in a person!! I swear they do!! Are you the younger sister by any chance? Because I am 17 months younger than my sister and a million times stupider at times!

But, I do love my sister dearly, she would do anything for me, but sometimes the one thing I'd really lover her to do....(shut her pie hole!!)....is the hardest!!

[HollyC]

Thanks for the replies and sympathy. Fiona, you hit the nail on the head.

I guess my sister is very competitive when it comes to me. We are both in the midst of our baby journeys and she has made lots of thoughtless comments. She had a vaginal birth and has said various things about how I don't know what labour feels like (I was in induced labour for 7 hours but that doesn't count). Also that i should have an epidural in the future because I couldn't cope with pain like she could. She also told a couple of people not to visit me in the hospital because I was a drama queen and wouldn't be up for visitors as soon as she was.

These are the things she happily says to my face and she truly doesn't think she is being rude. If I tell her that she is upsetting me she says how sensitive I am and that I really am a drama queen.

She can be a truly kind and generous person, but she saves this sort of behaviour for those who are closest to her.

None of this is helped by my DD being a good sleeper and her son being a frequent waker, but that is a whole other story!

[Fleur]

I guess my sister is very competitive when it comes to me. We are both in the midst of our baby journeys and she has made lots of thoughtless comments. She had a vaginal birth and has said various things about how I don't know what labour feels like (I was in induced labour for 7 hours but that doesn't count). Also that i should have an epidural in the future because I couldn't cope with pain like she could. She also told a couple of people not to visit me in the hospital because I was a drama queen and wouldn't be up for visitors as soon as she was.

These are the things she happily says to my face and she truly doesn't think she is being rude. If I tell her that she is upsetting me she says how sensitive I am and that I really am a drama queen.

She can be a truly kind and generous person, but she saves this sort of behaviour for those who are closest to her.

None of this is helped by my DD being a good sleeper and her son being a frequent waker, but that is a whole other story!

Well, you could point out to her that induced labour is generally accepted to be more painful than spontaneous labour.... but then you'd just be buying into her whole competitive bs.

I have to say, it doesn't seem like very kind & thoughtful behaviour to me. I know she's your sister & we tend to defend those we love, but it might be better for you if you accept that she has this ability to be a bit of a nit.

It is a pity that she can't understand how upsetting it is for you though

Accept it as a character flaw on her part, don't take it personally & move on. I have had to do this with my mum & it HAS made it easier, she still irks me but not as much.

[NaeNae]

pffftt to your sister - clearly she has NO Fn idea about C-secs. I just wish there was a way for you to get her to look into it. I have a copy of Silent Knife and seriously when the book talks about the way the surgery is actually performed all I could do was cry that I went through that.

C-Secs are not an easy option they are a major surgery and should not be gone into lightly for those considering elective, while I am pro choice, I really think that kind of surgery should be left for emergency or medically necessary situations.

Good on you for trying for a VBAC, if you wanted to retaliate to your sister you could always say back "if its so easy why don't you have one?!!"

Sorry but she sounds like she needs a whack in the back of the head to knock some sense into her.

Nae x