Grrr.... C/S the easy way out!

[JellyBean]

Aw gee- people and their comments!! And family sometimes seem to be the worst!!

Perhaps its worth reminding your sister that a c-section cut and subsequent discomfort and recovery time is far greater than any cut a VB will incur. Then there is the greater risk of miscarriage & uterine rupture with successive c-sections.
Also she is probably not taking into account that many people wish to VB so they can avoid drugs that are necessary with a C-section (ie anesthetic, epidural etc), but which increase the risk of side effects for the mother and baby (nausea and breathing difficulties etc).
Then there are factors such as increased feeding difficulties in babies exposed to anesthetic and antibiotics (routine for c-section), and the flood of endorphins (happy hormones) which often are not triggered after a c-section as the body does not register that birth has occurred- hence increasing the risk of PND (something I doubt she'd be aware of given that she is too proud to read birth books!).
So yeah - I think it may be worth reminding her that wanting a VB it is about more than just the actual avenue that the baby comes out of!!!

Best of luck with your VB!! With the right kind of support I'm sure you will get the birth you are after.

XX

[me83]

Holly- big hugs to you.

It sounds like the issue is that your sister has some serious problems with either self esteem or tact (or both) and is taking it out on you. Her comments are obviously not founded on facts and must be infuriating to listen to. I have found that the only way to deal with this type of behaviour when it comes to family members is to set clear boundaries so that they know it is not ok to talk to you about it. It is ok for them to think it, just not to tell you what they think. When i was pregnant and had a series of unhelpful comments from a family member I tried the following:

Next time she says he unhelpful remark, I would be extremely direct and say something along the lines of "your comments regarding......are not helpful and I feel that you are being judgemental. Please keep your opinions about this to yourself in future." I guarantee she wont be impressed but if she wants to be involved she will talk to you again, and if she is concerned about looking better than you she will not bring it up again for fear of another rather direct comment from yourself. You may need to be prepared for her to not talk to you for a few days tho. I really hope you figure it out, as it is so much harder listening to the comments when you are pregnant and already have enough on your plate.

[~*lilla*~]

Maybe you could ask her why her self esteem is so low she feels the need to "compete" with you about your birth choices!

:yeahthat: My ex friend used to be like that. I had an extremely traumatic c/s for my 1st birth, and rather than supporting me, she told me how lucky I was to have a c/s because vb's were so much worse. I did point out to her that she hadn't actually had a c/s so how would she know? Her reply was that having a needle in your back and a little scar was far less painful that 8 hours of the back labour she had

It was almost like a competition that she was more of a woman and mother because she had a natural birth. *yawns*

[Snacks]

Sounds to me like you really need this place to vent. Sounds like your sister is a PITA, but she's family so you can't shoot her, LOL!
If she is rude and then tells you you are oversensitive for calling her on it, it just sounds like she's got her own issues and they have nothing to do with you, Holly. Keep your head about you, mate. Try to just detach yourself from what she says: make the competition one-sided. May not make it less fun for you (she sounds quite self-absorbed so I imagine she'll still enjoy belittling you) but might make it less hurtful to you.