Perhaps I should put this in general chatter, because frankly, it’s a bit of a pointless ramble!

I probably should do this as a blog but it's too late at night to figure out how, so mods, please feel free to move, delete or simply to tell me to shut up and learn to deal with my boredom in more constructive ways...

Following is a run down of my last weeks of pregnancy – or the “Will he or Won’t he” journal...

37 weeks: the BHs which I had had since 20 weeks ramped up a notch or 10, I had my first little "pre-labour" with a morning of regular (every 15 minutes) contractions and thought I'd had a hind-water leak which turned out to be that delightfully fluid CM. Even though I knew that pre-labour can go on for weeks, I jinxed it by saying "I have a feeling he is going to be early..." Hee hee, well he's shown me, hasn't he...

Between 37-40 weeks: if I gave a description of every time I thought 'hmmm, this could be it, oh no, wait, it's not', then I would still be writing on my son's 21st birthday. Suffice to say I have had a rather extensive pre-labour.

40 weeks: last pre-term hospital appointment. Not engaged, still ROP, have felt like I've been on day 1 of AF for the last three weeks, consensus is, he'll come out when he's ready.

40 + 6 weeks: appointment with obstetrician to book induction for 40 + 10. Not happy Jan. Had minor panic that despite EPO and perineal massage it still hurt like buggery when obstetrician went in to investigate with two fingers, wondered what a 10cm head was going to feel like. Midwife assured me that miracles happened. Well thank goodness for that! Still not engaged, still ROP, but 1cm dilated. The ob even felt the head! Whoo hoo! Come on matey, you can beat the induction!

40 + 7: had a wonderful acupuncture session, which, if not successful at coaxing little guy out, at least made me feel really really good.

40 + 9, 10:00am. DP and I DTD on yummy new red sheets. (If you're going to do it, do it in style). He commented on the um... 'engorged' state of my labia and that I was definitely um... 'more relaxed' than usual. Well, that's promising... (and TMI, sorry).

40 + 9, 12:30pm: had shower. For those who found the last paragraph TMI, skip this one, it's worse... Noticed um... goeey squidgy sticky but slightly 'solid' stuff emerging from nether regions. Definitely not sperm (if it was I'd be sending DP off for an immediate checkup). Honey, honey I think I've lost my show... come and look!!! DP comes in, peers inquisitively at the gloopy blob in my hand (yeah I know, gross, but I was excited) and says, well, you're right, it definitely isn't sperm. Whoo hoo, happy dance whilst trying not to fall over in the shower. Honey, honey, we're having a baby. DP gives me a 'well duh' look.

40 + 9, about 1 hour later: why haven't I had a baby yet? (Yes, the impatience and irrationality that I have managed to avoid throughout the pregnancy has finally kicked in...)

40 + 9, about 1 hour after that: ooooh, contractions. Sudden excitement, even though I know that I've been having these for three weeks now and nothing has happened.

40 + 9, about 4 hours after that: oooh, no more contractions. Drat. To save on space, this went on a couple more times throughout the evening, but nothing kicked in in a major "I'm having a baby now" way. We even went out to dinner at a flash restaurant to try to kick things along, but little bugger was kind enough to let me scoff my way through ocean trout and creme brulee (mmmm) without more than a few minor murmurs. I did worry the staff when they asked when I was due and I told them 9 days ago... I didn’t tell them that we were trying to see if we could get Murphy's Law to work so that my waters would break in a posh restaurant. Jinxed again...

40 + 10 (today): appointment for CTG monitoring to check that bubba is still healthy. Little heartbeat belting away like a kick drum. Good lad. Must have been the ocean trout... Had three good contractions in 40 minutes whilst on the monitor, the midwife was very impressed with my 'little mountains'. Still booked in for induction on Wed, but was able to negotiate a 'wait and see' if all is still looking good (or if he hasn't emerged of his own accord by then). Much happier!

40 + 10 (still today): between 9:30am and about 3:00pm contractions got to every 12 minutes, then backed off to 20, then stopped. Bugger. Oh well. Had a little sleep on the couch and woke feeling nauseous, headachy and hot. No more contractions. More bugger. About 9:30 contractions started again. It is now 10:45. I’ve had two since 9:30 and they seem to have subsided again, despite lots of bouncing and rolling around on gym ball all night. Oh no, wait, there’s another one...

I’m off to bed now. But if anybody has made it through this long and pointless meander through my late pregnancy journey – well done!

The 50 million dollar question is, who thinks that he’s going to beat his induction and when do you think he’ll come out? Person who makes the closest guess gets a prize (it’s not 50 million dollars BTW)!!!!