Stopping Fear-Tension-Pain in late pregnancy

[amberj]

I have done a LOT of reading about labour and feel very informed and that has made me feel quite empowered and calm about the whole birth thing....until now. Now I am 40w + 3, and I feel like I have started on this roller coaster that is gathering speed and drawing me into this cycle that I REALLY want to stop now.

I know in my head that a normal term is up to 42 weeks and that I should not be concerned that I am overdue. But it seems there is such a stigma attached to "overdue-ness" that its hard to avoid. Of course all of my friends and family are constantly asking if I've had the baby (like I wouldn't tell them!!), so it adds to the general expectations. Today at my midwife appointment, they said I now go on to another part of the clinic where they would start to discuss induction. Its like this "process" had started, around me and within me and I find it very hard to resist.

Add to that my naturally anxious tendancies, and I find myself becoming increasingly nervous, frustrated and stressed. I know all about the bad cycle this sets up and I am looking for ways to combat it right now before it gets out of hand. Is it too late to start relaxation stuff (ie- do I need to have been doing it for months for it to become part of the unconscious that will help in labour)? Does anyone else have any practical suggestions for stopping this cycle now before it gets out of control? Or just support (all those words of support really do help- thank you!!!)

[Trillian]

Never too late to start relaxation stuff at all - who knows, maybe you need to relax and let go so that labour can start all on it's own? Another thing that may help is to put your phone onto the answering machine with a message letting everyone know that you haven't had the baby, we will certainly let you know when we do and thanks for all your well wishes etc. It gets really depressing when everyone starts the phonecalls - their hearts are in the right place but they really can't appreciate how little it does to help you think of anything other than the impending birth.

It really is the hardest part of pg I think - the waiting around and getting to the stage where *decisions* have to be made, but do remember that you don't have to rush into anything, you may not have much time on your side, but you still have enough to let things happen at their own pace kwim?

Also, have you thought about natural induction methods? There is a list of them on the main site or you could have a massage or acupuncture - even if none of them *work* it will be fun trying and a massage is appreciated at any stage of pg.

Good luck hun

[tan32]

Hi AmberJ i just want to say what you are experiencing is normal, my DS was 40 + 10 days over, well meaning family and friends ringing and checking etc just starts to annoy you. Learning some relaxation techniques wont hurt, you could always use them later anyway.
Big hugs to you

[Lolli]

Oh you poor thing... it's the waiting and the stress and the anticipation that gets to you, especially when it's all up in the air.
to you hun

[chocolatecatty]

I second not answering the phone and just letting it go straight to message bank. It's not rude....what's rude (well...kinda rude) is people ringing to you check if you've had bubs!! Do they really think you'd not tell them? And if you delayed telling them well that's your perogative (sp!) and it would come from a very good reason I'm sure.

As for induction, given you've studied up on all this labour business (good on you), well, stay strong and don't let them pressure you into something you may later regret. Do you have a good support person who can stand by you and delay any intervention like induction?

Yeeeehaaaaaa, you're having a baby anytime from now! Focus on that! Read some birth stories, go over what you've learned about labour and think about the fantastic thing that your body will go through. Anticipation is what got me through those last few weeks/days. Having a baby is sooo exciting...I'm excited for you just thinking about it!

Swimming is also a great way to relax (I think). Clears the mind etc. I say. Even if you just float!

[Emma1979]

i haven't read all the responses but just wanted to say re: relaxtion.... i've just downloaded for around $12 from the internet some relaxtion stuff and i play it on my
mp3 player before i go to sleep, and its really helping.... it helps you to switch off and gain control of your body thru breathing, slowing the heart rate down, reducing blood pressure etc.... the one i've downloaded is actually hypnosis... some nights i can honestly say it works, i am under hypnosis while im listening to it, other nights its just very relaxing, but i wouldn't say i was 'under'...

there are all sorts of things you can download depending on what you are wanting... relaxtion for sleep, hypnosis for quitting smoking, controlling appetite... im sure there would be hypnosis for calm birthing too...

just an idea, you never know you might find it useful for relaxtion over the next few days (or even during your birth?!)

good luck xx

[Visitor7]

2 things I did when I was reaching my due date:
1) told everyone to stop ringing, that I would ring them when Emily had arrived. And I made sure they knew I was serious.
2) when my dr told me that I would need to speak with the hospital regarding induction methods etc, I told him that I would not go to the hospital and be induced just because they say so. I was happy to go to 42 weeks if it had come to that (providing bub and myself were doing ok). Having the possibility of an induction hanging over your head would be stressful.

When are you due to see the hospital again? Definitely relaxation is the key at this stage. Labour will not start if you're stressed/worried/anxious. Make sure you're getting plenty of rest, keep active but don't overdo it. And lastly, believe in yourself that you can do this.

[blue daisy]

hi amberj

the rollercoaster ride you describe can somewhat be put down to the surging birth hormones in your body, increasing oxytocin and endorphin levels

go with the feeling, let it out, be emotional as this is part of pregnancy and the lead up to birth...crying actually helps to relax you as it is a form of release and further increases your birthing hormones

many women describe feeling like this prior to going into labor, some women feel calm and tranquil, everyone is different

dont focus on what other people are saying, focus on you and your baby

it is very normal for a first time mother to go 10 days past her estimated due date

big hugs to you...and maybe book some pampering for yourself so you feel fantastic (increase those endorphins)

x

[~clover~]

My girls were 7 & 8 days over. I know how you feel. Just relax. It'll happen. Rest up. Maybe stop answering the phone??? I know how it feel - Haven't you had that kid yet?? - I got so over it, but I was too polite to say anything.
Just coz your past your EDD doesn't mean anything. First babies usually do go over as the body hasn't done it before & its takes a bit more time to get ready

It will happen soon. & however it happens you will get through it. It's better to be late than early!
Good luck. Hope it happens soon.

[Snacks]

Big hugs to you, Amberj. OMG, I was soooo depressed when Natty's due date came and went. I cried. But you are well-educated, and you know your body (yes, you do - you know about the stress you're feeling and you're seeking help because you know it is hindering your enjoyment of pregnancy and your anticipation of a beautiful birth), so you know that there is absolutely no need for you to be talking about induction yet, particularly if the talk stresses you out!
Natty came a week late. I found it so hard not to be anxious for her arrival, so I filled my days with activity. Is bub's room ready? Can you hang out with friends/family for movies or hot chocolate or leisurely walks? Can you catch up on some DVDs or some reading? I know that NONE of these things take away the yearning for your long-awaited baby, but I found them to be helpful to get through those last days. And Massage! If you can, go and get one!
Looking forward to hearing your BA soon