How can I get to the point where I know I can do it again?

[Arimeh]

This might be all muddled up. Already I'm starting to freak out a bit bout labouring again, just because I have this feeling that it was a total fluke last time, and something will go wrong and I'll end up with a c-section again just because I can't do it.

How do I get the trust that I need in my body to actually do it? I thought that once I have done it once, I would be fine and believe in myself, but to be honest, I'm probably MORE negative now that I have done it because of the whole "fluke" thing.

So how do you work around thoughts and feelings like that? What can I do to make myself have more faith in myself so I don't stress and have anxiety attacks for the whole 9 months?

Are there any certain books I should read that would help me? Would going to a counsellor help me? Am I - dare i say it - crazzzzyyyy???

Any words of wisdom would be most appreciated!! Shanks

[tk1999]

Arimeh - I often feel the same way and I have only had one child (vaginal birth), I am not expecting to add to our family anytime soon but I have often wondered how people go through the labour and birth again... one of the main things that kept me going was that it was the unknown... and it may not make sense but knowing now what I would have to go through - scared the beetles out of me!

I have PND and I found talking to my psychologist about my fears really helped to identify some of my hang ups that I somehow just fluked giving birth vaginally to DD

I am not sure I am making sense but I wanted to let you know you are not alone in your way of thinking

[RoyaUK]

Congrats on #4!! I'm no expert but also attempted a VBA2C like you with my last birth (although didn't go to plan.....). I would maybe take a look at all the reasons why your VBA2C worked. What support did you have? What education did you arm yourself with? Can you hook up with your midwives again and start the process now of mental preparation. What sort of exercise regime did you do to prepare for the birth? (it's a marathon event after all!)

You know as much as anyone how much is involved in a VBAC. Giving birth naturally last time was not a 'fluke' - you worked really hard to achieve it and you had all the stars aligned! A counsellor may help or an independent midwife who understands and has supported VBACs and can help you prepare for the challenge. Gain confidence that your body has birthed a baby naturally and so it can again.

[skybie]

look at ur beautiful eden!!!! u did it and u can and will do it again.
your body is amazing hun, u are amazing, u know u can do it
xxx

[thepixie]

I don't think it was a fluke Mel. I think you did it because you set your mind to it, you had people around you who totally supported you and you didn't let anything divert you from your goal.
You can do it again. Talk to your midwife - I'm sure she will say the same thing!

[TeniBear]

Remember that sense of utter relief and strength you felt last time? Focus on that

[Cassius2]

i reckon it's a good idea to get hold of your birth notes and go through them with your IM (was she there at Eden's birth?). that way you can see it from another perspective as well...just a thought.

I know that we bandy this word around here alot, but 'surrender' is really important. again, talking to your IM and discussing how best to achieve the surrender needed to allow yourself to birth this baby in the manner in which you two (you and bubs) have chosen. talking talking talking talking it through! oh and calmbirth classes

[*Beema*]

I think you achieved it because you stepped away from the pressure and questions, dates and times and it became your focus to just birth your baby, you removed yourself from what you found didn't work when you tried a VBAC with Kelti.

You surrounded yourself with a supportive team, including your DH, the birthing centre, MW's who were all fully aware of your aims and they were with you and gave you the support and guidance you needed to get yourself physically and mentally prepared for the VBA2C, and all the way to achieving it.

I would start looking into who you would like as a MW this time and even perhaps a doula or student Doula, get then on board nice an early, so right from the word go you have your network around you.

Eden was no fluke hun - you did it, your body did it and you let your mind do it, and you can do it all again

Take care xxoo

[AndiE]

Remember that sense of utter relief and strength you felt last time? Focus on that

:yeahthat:

Trust yourself, believe in yourself and what you know your body can achieve.
You've been there, done that now and use your knowledge of Eden's birth to build your confidence over the coming months

[Roryrory]

Like the other's have said, Eden wasn't a fluke!

I really think that some one-on-one time with a counsellor who specifically knows about natural birth processes would be a good ting - personally I spent two days one-on-one with a hypnobirth practitioner between DS1 and DS2 which blew away many cobwebs I wasn't even aware of.

[onthefly]

You worked so hard, achieved so much - how could that be a fluke?
I know I have no doubt you can do it.

[YoYo]

New Mantra

'It was not a fluke, it was not a fluke, it was NOT a fluke...I did it, I did it well and I can do it again'

[kungfubecca]

i dont thik it was afluke you did it, you! Your muscles, your guts and determination, how is that a fluke?

If your remembering your labour and your head saying i can't I can't but then you did and you produced a wonderfull little bundle well you can, that was your brain not your body talking.

Can't is my favourite word during the second phase of labour especially when bubs is crowning and tearing me from well you know, but once that head gets out, and the adrenaline is greater than the pain level and then the rest slips out and your whole body relaxes, and then you see that little baby and you know you did all that work, and you feel so proud it only takes me a couple of days to get over what our brains believe is scary.