I breathed DD1 out, my body pushed but I didn't make a conscious effort to. I asked for guidance, as in, being reminded to just breathe through certain parts. No tears or grazes, birthed on my hands and knees. Second stage was 1 hour and 40 minutes.
DD2 was fairly different when it came to pushing. I had overwhelming back pain that was only relieved about 10 minutes before she was born, so the urge to push was really dulled until that back pain was muted a bit. The urge to push was huge once that pain was gone, and I pushed hard lol. I did breathe through crowning and not push, but with extreme difficulty. I was thrown by how much faster she came compared to DD1 and asked my midwives a lot whether it was 'okay' to push etc. No tears or grazes, birthed on my knees in water. Second stage was 8 minutes.
I didn't do anything to specifically prepare during pregnancy for no tears. I inserted EPO but didn't massage it in. I think the key factor for me was good support, the two second stages were very different and both times my support people offered me suggestions appropriate to what was actually happening with me, which was awesome.
I laboured in water both times.
First one I only pushed as my body urged, and only grazed. Second stage was 2 hr 27 minutes.
Second I asked for coaching, but if it was offered, I didn't even notice. Again I pushed as my body urged, ended up with 2nd degree tear and a graze, second stage was 10 minutes. But second time round it healed a lot faster, I just spent more time lying down afterwards. That made a big difference.
I laboured in water both times.
First one I only pushed as my body urged, and only grazed. Second stage was 2 hr 27 minutes.
Second I asked for coaching, but if it was offered, I didn't even notice. Again I pushed as my body urged, ended up with 2nd degree tear and a graze, second stage was 10 minutes. But second time round it healed a lot faster, I just spent more time lying down afterwards. That made a big difference.
Once he began to crown and I felt the Ring of Fire (which I thought was some sick joke, but no. It exists!) I just panted and didn't push, even though I was told to. I had a slight graze.
I'll preface my response by saying I've torn (mild but did require stitches) in the same place with all three births, regardless of their size (2.9kg, 3.6kg and 4.5kg). However, I didn't feel it happen (in all 3 births) and didn't have any probs afterwards with pain/discomfort. Probably just lucky, I guess. I'd suggest perineal massage and then, during the final stages of labour/pushing, having a warm compress put on your perineum (by midwife). Probably my best advice though would be to do your best to listen to the midwives and try not to push when bub is crowning. Not necessarily the most comfortable of sensations as you probably recall, but it doesn't last long and gives your body a chance to adjust to the stretching.
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