st arnaud, about 25 mins away wont take a first timer

Maryborough, almost 40 mins also wont take a first timer

Bendigo about 103 km, 1 hour away, say i'm outside of their catchment area and have to go to melbourne 3 hours away instead (?)

Ballarat about 1 hour 15 mins, well i'm too far away for bendigo so ballarat is out of the question too

Melbourne 3 hours in labour? Forget it. I'm having our baby at home now :-)