I know this shouldn't be a concern...

[sasha]

but I'm thinking of birthing positions for this baby, and with both S and T I used a birthing stool, which I found helped; I liked the supported squatting position. However, with T, the second stage was VERY quick, and I did have a slight tear. Nothing needing stitching, but I'd like to avoid that again.

So I'm thinking that perhaps leaning forward on a chair or probably a beanbag might be helpful, slow things down a bit. But... I don't want to have my butt in the air, and then poo.

I know, it's so stupid to worry about it, but I hate pooing in labour, and I've done it each time. It's embarrassing enough to have the midwives clean it away from the floor! The idea of... well, it's just a bit ew, you know?

So... I guess what I'm after is any ideas to try and slow down when there's that uncontrollable urge to push? Ones which don't involve other people leaning in towards my bum if I happen to poo

[Cricket]

Hmmm.... well, I could tell you not to worry about the poo, but you know that already.

Try asking your midwife or husband or birth coach to have you pant when you feel that need to push. Ask them to breathe with you and talk you through it ...(contraction starts, you want to push) "OK, Bec, pant, ha, ha, ha, ha, you're doing great, ha, ha, ha, ha.... (contraction ends) perfect, breathe, relax, you're doing beautifully, this baby is just a perfect size for you...." (Have a look at Gloria LeMay on pushing, by the way). She recommends panting through your pushing until the "ring of fire" feeling passes. She says that gives the time needed for the perineum to stretch, and the pressure from the baby's head numbs the area then too, making delivery less painful.

And, you can ask for a warm/hot cloth to be applied to your perineum at pushing. This does a few different things -
1. It helps relax and stretch the perineum, decreasing the likelihood of tearing.
2. It supports the perineum, decreasing the likelihood of tearing.
3. It helps direct your pushing, making it more effective.
4. It covers up any poo. A quick switch of the cloth, and no one's the wiser. Nothing on the floor, no mess, no worries.

All the best for a great birth!

[sasha]

Thank you for both of those suggestions - both very workable. I know about the panting, but I'm just worried I won't be able to remember it at the time... might ask my student midwife if she can be my reminder for that.