Was it just me? . .

[Cricket]

Just wanted to add a couple thoughts -
- about hospital vs. home - I think it's the support you have that makes the biggest difference. Whether you are in the hospital or at home, you'll need good support from people who care about you and know what they're doing at a birth. (your poor hubby might not cut it, though he tries, because he's just not educated enough. You might need more!)
About the pain relief - I think if it's there and it's offered, most of us would take the pain relief. (Not all, I know) I did. With my first two births, I REALLY wanted it, though I thought I wouldn't. Labour hurts. You want it to stop. They can help! (especially with my first baby - at the panic and puking point! It relaxed me totally. But good support and preparation might have helped me avoid that to some degree, or at least helped me cope better.) Some education of midwives/nurses might help too - drugs are the easiest "out" for them as well. They don't have to sit there and coach you, and help you through every contraction. Once quick poke in the leg, and you're a nice, manageable patient again. Or at least, more manageable.
But, when the drugs are not there, you do without them, and generally you are fine. (I realize that there are some cases where pain relief is really necessary, as in extremely long labour, forceps delivery, etc.) When I gave birth at home, there was no "drug" pain relief available. I got in the bath tub, and it was all the relief I had, and it was good! If my midwives had offered me pain relief at home, I likely would have taken it then too, but I'm glad they couldn't. Now I know I can do it without.
About being afraid for next time - the worst part is over! Generally, a second birth is easier, and besides, you know what to expect this time, and how to better prepare and line up support. You can do it!
About useless nurses/midwives - they should have to go through labour themselves once a year, to remind them of how it feels. Perhaps that will teach them some empathy.

Oh, and about the births on the video from a birth centre - if you watched me with my third baby, you'd get a MUCH different experience than watching my first! I'm guessing those might not have been first time mothers. But you never know - there are probably some very calm quiet first time mothers too. Just not me.

ETA: Oh, there you go - Hoobs was a calm first time mother. Good preparation can really help! But it probably helps also to have someone there to have someone remind you of what you learned when you are actually going through it.