Was it just me? . .

[Neenee Jellybeanie]

I'd like to recommend that pregnant ladies avoid this topic LOL, i'm talking about my bad labour experience and don't want to scare anyone. I'd like the opinions of women who've given birth before but

Whenever I watch labour videos, the labouring women always seem fairly calm and in control, and my labour wasn't like that at all. Okay, it didn't go as to planned but it was fairly normal, as far as labour goes, but I was hysterical at 1cm dilation! When I was in transition, I couldn't move or anything, I just screamed and screamed and screamed and thrashed about on the bed. The only time I wasn't screaming was when I was pushing, and I certainly wasn't laying down all relaxed and such . . .

Am I the only one who was loud and naked and hysterical throughout their labour? I feel like a freak; it seems like I'm the only one who had this experience. The awful midwives at Kaleeya looked at me like I was insane (note: the awful ones did that, and there were a number of them, the nice ones didnt!).

[Cricket]

My first labour was more like that. I was actually alright for the first part - it was around 6-7 cm that I started to lose it. Transition was brutal for me. Crying and begging the nurses to make it stop! And puking. And hyperventilating and panicking. But my second and third babies were much better, as far as I was concerned. I was in pain, for sure, and moaning at the end, but much more contolled. No panic, like with the first. Your next birth experience, if you have another, will probably be calmer. And, everyone responds differently. Some people simply are louder than others. I'm not a "noisy" person - I don't yell when I'm happy or excited either.
I'd guess they didn't pick a "noisy" person to record for the labour video, because, as you warned at the beginning of your post, it might scare expectant mothers too much. So while some women might labour like that (quietly) others won't. Although, maybe to have a more "realistic" expectation of labour might be helpful, sometimes. I don't know which is better. To be prepared for pain is good and helpful, but to be afraid and stressed beforehand will only make it worse.
It sounds like you felt like you were totally out of control, and that's not a pleasant feeling in labour. Everyone loses some feeling of control, because you can't stop labour, and some parts are overwhelming, but the total feeling of panic can be avoided. If you have another baby, you might want to try a doula. She'll help you remain focused so that you can manage your contractions more easily.
I guess this is a bit of a rambling answer, but I hope it helps. You're not alone in having a loud, naked and hysterical labour, for sure, especially not for a first baby.

[Muffy]

i was wondering the same thing......
lol i feel as though i sounded like a wounded wild animal or something like that.
i was as far from calm as you could probably get!!

[Trillian]

A woman I know IRL had an experience like yours. One of my friends had given birth a few days before this woman (who was a sort-of friend to my friend) came in to the hospital in established labour and she was already screaming and crying and basically had very little control over herself. It only got worse as her labour progressed apparently and this women did ask my friend to go into the labour ward with her and she declined, but she said the whole time she was in the labour ward you could hear her continuing to scream and carry on. Although she did say she must have tried the gas at some point becuase the screaming turned into hysterical laughing for a little while. So no, you're not alone, but I imagine that you never see videos of births like yours because I guess people think women don't want to see that?

[satya]

No I think the calm births you see on TV etc are in the minority. Giving birth is painful, most people don't handle that kinda pain too well.

I thought I'd handle birth far better than I did. I'd had a wisdom tooth taken out in the dentists chair and never felt a thing at the time or afterwards so felt my pain tolerance was pretty good as I'd heard so many bad stories about wisdom tooth removal. How wrong can you be!!!!!

I had watched so many birth shows on Foxtel I thought I had a good idea of what it was going to be like. It was nothing like any show I'd ever seen. About a couple of weeks after giving birth I watched one that was more like it - I wish I'd seen it beforehand.

I was quite noisy throughout the birth - moaning I think. I swore heaps and I very rarely sware normally. I was 6cms when I arrived at hossy but didn't birth til 11 hours later. The way they show it on TV it's all much quicker than that (17 hours total labour and a day of prelabour as well). I also pushed for just under 2 hours before they vacc'd him out. On TV it looks like they just push a few times.

All I can say is I'm glad I didn't have a home birth - couldn't have done it without the drugs. At home I had uncontrollable shivers with each contraction for the last hour or two before going to hossy - that only went away when I got some decent drugs into me. Panadeine forte just didn't do it for me.

I think the reason the birth shows are quite peaceful is that most of them have had epidurals and therefore they don't feel most of the pain. Most of the shows are American and epis are pretty much thrown at them, unlike in Aus.

[Ellibam]

i think most peoples first births are like this!
then 2nd time round we know what to expect and so dont feel so shocked by it all

[Kristin27]

LMAO satya I also thought I'd be able to cope with labour because I'd had all four wisdom teeth out in the dentist chair, ha how wrong I was!

Labour is the most horrendous pain ever. I was at it for over 30 hours (posterior bub) I was in tears at home before going to hospital and just wanted to take it all back! I'm not looking forward to next time.... Especially since it will be VBAC.

[Neenee Jellybeanie]

The births I saw were homebirths and in birth-centres and things though, that's what confused me so much lol! I'm glad it's not just me though, I honestly felt like a freak. Out of control is right, that's exactly how I felt, and I managed to get horrible midwives for the majority of my labour which didn't help at all - they just didn't care. The pain relief didn't help me at all really lol.

Next time (hoping there is one) I'm DEFINATELY having a homebirth. Western Australia has a government-funded homebirthing program (that I didn't know about until it was too late!)

[Karina]

Am I the only one who was loud and naked and hysterical throughout their labour?

No, I was too. I was naked in the shower (couldnt bear to have any type of clothing or gown on me at all) and screamed with each contraction for a little while. For me, it was not so much the pain of the contraction, but the contraction itself because I felt like I was being crushed from every direction. At some point, my sister rocked up the the hospital and could hear me in the corridor screaming.

I'm sorry to hear you had a yuk experience. I think sometimes we just get lost in the system and the model of care provided doesnt really suit our needs and we just dont know really what everything is going to be like. As soon as I arrived at the hospital, I was copping flak from the stupid midwife who said some dumb things to me ("hurry up now, someone else is going to need this room soon" and other inappropriate things) and I dont think that helped the situation as it made me feel tense and uncomfortable. I wasnt hysterical until I had some of the gas actually.

I too am having a homebirth next time, and might look at hypnobirth/calmbirth.

[paradise lost]

I am the opposite freak, i was chatting calmly during crowning. I did get to feeling screamy, for one contraction when i was in the bath, but the pain was so much worse when i screamed (actually i was mooing, but it went high and turned into a strangled moaaaaiiieeee), i went back to deep slow breathing and low tones right away.

Did you practice pain-coping techniques beforehand? I definitely think preparation helped me, because on the few occasions when i began to lose it and fight the pain it hurt much more and i remembered that the stuff had read had told me that - that if i wasn't relaxed it would all hurt a lot more. Also i had read SO much, like all the various things that could happen - i got the shivers too and i knew it was because the blood diverting to my uterus meant my major organs were getting a bit neglected and my body thought i was cold and was making me shiver - it happens when i run long distances too. I knew i might throw up and that if i did it would really help open my cervix (as Ina May puts it "as above, so below!" lol), i knew that when i began to lose it and think i couldn't go on (which i did) it was just the adrenalin rush of transition (it was) and i would be holding the baby soon (soonish - an hour or 2!). There were things that shocked me about labour, but nothing that shocked me too much, if that makes sense.

I was at home. I would have been RIGID with fear and no doubt screaming the place down in hospital.

Bx

[Cricket]

Just wanted to add a couple thoughts -
- about hospital vs. home - I think it's the support you have that makes the biggest difference. Whether you are in the hospital or at home, you'll need good support from people who care about you and know what they're doing at a birth. (your poor hubby might not cut it, though he tries, because he's just not educated enough. You might need more!)
About the pain relief - I think if it's there and it's offered, most of us would take the pain relief. (Not all, I know) I did. With my first two births, I REALLY wanted it, though I thought I wouldn't. Labour hurts. You want it to stop. They can help! (especially with my first baby - at the panic and puking point! It relaxed me totally. But good support and preparation might have helped me avoid that to some degree, or at least helped me cope better.) Some education of midwives/nurses might help too - drugs are the easiest "out" for them as well. They don't have to sit there and coach you, and help you through every contraction. Once quick poke in the leg, and you're a nice, manageable patient again. Or at least, more manageable.
But, when the drugs are not there, you do without them, and generally you are fine. (I realize that there are some cases where pain relief is really necessary, as in extremely long labour, forceps delivery, etc.) When I gave birth at home, there was no "drug" pain relief available. I got in the bath tub, and it was all the relief I had, and it was good! If my midwives had offered me pain relief at home, I likely would have taken it then too, but I'm glad they couldn't. Now I know I can do it without.
About being afraid for next time - the worst part is over! Generally, a second birth is easier, and besides, you know what to expect this time, and how to better prepare and line up support. You can do it!
About useless nurses/midwives - they should have to go through labour themselves once a year, to remind them of how it feels. Perhaps that will teach them some empathy.

Oh, and about the births on the video from a birth centre - if you watched me with my third baby, you'd get a MUCH different experience than watching my first! I'm guessing those might not have been first time mothers. But you never know - there are probably some very calm quiet first time mothers too. Just not me.

ETA: Oh, there you go - Hoobs was a calm first time mother. Good preparation can really help! But it probably helps also to have someone there to have someone remind you of what you learned when you are actually going through it.

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

33hrs posterior labour... and a freak here! Apparently no-one does what I did, that was the midwives telling me that! I was calm, chatting, playing scrabble, not in pain... now that's freaky, even according to midwives. Everyone needs drugs because it's so painful.

[paradise lost]

I really DIDN'T want it to stop. I was 11 days overdue, i wanted the baby OUT and i knew it had to hurt more for that to happen, so i suppose in a perverse way i WANTED it to hurt (?). I was thinking during contractions "Down baby" and "yeah, give me more!" when it was intense. I am a masochist in many ways though. I have sensory issues, even pain is interesting for me. But i really felt when i was relaxed that labour pain was a burning, but GOOD pain, like the pain of a wobbly milk tooth - it hurts but you can't HELP but wiggle it anyway, because the pain is somehow tempting...? When i was tense and when i screamed that one time it felt like every fibre of muscle from my thighs to my boobs was being ripped slowly apart - it was AGONY. I can't imagine going through hours of that. I enjoyed the pain of my labour, but not those bits, when it felt like it was really injuring me.

Bx

[2CheekyMonkeys]

i was a screamer... midwife came in to start her shift and said i should stop being so loud cause i wouldnt have a voice the next day. GRRRR!

[DANNIIM]

I wasn't a screamer, i felt i could better manage the pain by remaining calm and even at one stage i was holding my breath, so probably the only reason i wasn't screaming in pain was because i was holding my breath and you can't do both at once! Everyone manages pain differently and it doesn't make you a freak just because of the way you felt you could cope at the time!

[ohmygodimamum]

at my second birth the nurse told me to shut up with my screaming, because others were trying to sleep

[Beatrix]

Well i was ok with my first and second labour

third one.. i could be heard down the corridor, but that was a 30 min long labour which consisted of a 30 min long contraction no break.. no pain relief...

but one think i say is freaky.. i loved the urge and the pushing stage... weird i know but it felt satisfying

[Neenee Jellybeanie]

at my second birth the nurse told me to shut up with my screaming, because others were trying to sleep

WTF?!?!?!