Just out of interest...

[Twin Sister]

I guess I was lucky I had a good hospital experience. They didn't try to speed things along or push anything on me. They just monitored me and the baby and let things progress normally and only gave me pain relief at my request.

[Snacks]

Wow Christy, that's really interesting. I had no idea there were such risks associated with c/s. That really illustrates to me how true it is that we're not given 'informed consent' when we accept intervention. Like in the BoBB, they talk about how we really can't know the long term effects of syntocinon (or pitocin) and some of the other drugs they are using because they just haven't been around long enough for us to know for sure.
Sorry, I have gone OT again
And again, sorry, I'm not trying to condemn anyone who's made use of these interventions. It's just that I get angry when people are forced into having intervention because they are told that it's best for them when the reality is that there's no way of knowing that for sure.

[Julie Doula]

Looking at the pics in Sheila Kitzinger's book "Homebirth" is what sold me on hb, I got envious!! "I want what she's having!!!" I ended up having my first at home, then later my second and third too.

If I wasn't already sure that hb is for me, the thing I found at BB that confirmed it for me was the thread about Victorian Birth Statistics. The c/s rate is more than 40% in some places and first timers are over-represented in those figures. For hb it's 4%. For women who desire a c/s obviously hb is not going to be very attractive! But for women who would prefer to avoid c/s and other kinds of surgical birth, hb does look favourable when you compare the stats.

[Freya]

Yes I would want to homebirth.

Not sure if it will actually happen though. But its changed my perspective on alot of things. Ive gone from 2 medicalised hospital inductions via OB to a birthing centre and no induction, a huge jump on my part.

[paradise lost]

Everyone get a cup of tea for this....Bec is here! I know you know i talk....

Are we sitting comfortably? Good. Then i'll begin.

When i joined BB i hadn't really thought about HB. I joined for support after miscarriages. In fact i found BB by googling "miscarriage". Once i was here i found a bunch of women all walking their unique paths to birth, and having mixed experiences.

In June 2005 one of my best friends had her first baby. Her baby had been unplanned and she chose homebirth because "we all have homebirths" - she is in Germany and it's true, all 5 of her siblings were born at home. The only relative she has that was born in hospital is a neice who was in frank breech and was born vaginally without drugs or tears in a hospital 250km from where they lived (they drove for the whole labour from rupture of membranes to transition!). In July i found i was pregnant. I knew i wanted a HB. I'd read Spiritual Midwifery. That book changed everything for me. Hundreds of womens voices, calling from the 70's, the 80's, the 90's, the now, telling me what my heart already knew - birth is normal, birth is safe, birth can be Holy and beautiful.

I had seen a birth. My XP's SIL's first baby in 2004. The birth was a medical induction for post-dates (at EDD+10) and i have honestly never seen anything so violent in all my life. The mother was ignored, shouted at, medicated without permission, disprespected, assaulted (what else would you call repeatedly pushing 4 fingers into the vagina of a contracting woman while she is screaming "stop! It's hurting me! Wait until it's over!"?). Afterwards mum was too exhausted to even hold her baby, let alone feed. I gave the baby her first bottle (mum never considered BF) - a beautiful moment for ME, but an horrific trespass on the bond of the baby and her mum. A bond which i think was permanently damaged, especially when i see how it is with the second baby, born after a fast, easy, normal labour. I knew that i wouldn't go through that. I read Spiritual Midwifery. I knew i'd birth at home.

When i began to talk about it there were so few homebirthers. Basically there was Trish. I got a lot of "good on you's" from the other ladies, everyone was supportive, no one was negative about it, but i had no company on my journey. Only Trish was there, talking to me, linking me her birth story, answering my questions. I LOVED reading her tale and the tale of the accidental homebirth, which i remember resulted in terrible tearing because of the suddenness of it all, it still sounded SO much better to me than what i'd witnessed in hospital. I thought about Teyha and Trish a lot. Trish was the goddess on the path ahead, and i walked in her footsteps and had faith that as her mothering hips swayed with confidence so could mine, i WOULD birth at home.

The day of my child's birth was the most moving, enlightening, uplifting, HOLY day of my life. I can see that for some it feels more "special" to leave the mundanity of home to give birth, but for me the mundanity was seared away by the blinding wonder of the events of that day. I might have been on my humble bed in my humble bedroom when my child slid through me into the world, but let me tell you, at that moment i lived in a cathedral, no HEAVEN. There was NOTHING humble about the simple surroundings and belongings that had silently been part of my child's becoming. Nothing at all. Everything shone with joy and wonder, glory was stamped on every odd shoe, every burnt out candle, every little houseplant. The air in that room, which might have just smelled like the floor polish i'd used the week before, the washing powder of our clean sheets, the faint plastic of the shower curtain protecting my mattress, was the air we there shared with DD as she drew the first breaths of her life. That was Holy to me. Nowhere on earth could offer me that. That magical special place, where my baby was born? I got to LIVE there! XP still lives there, every birthday she's had since then the 3 of us go sit in that room and re-live our deep sense of accomplishment and joy and wonder at the miracle we experienced that day.

I look back on that room where XSIL's DD, drugged and sleepy, gasped her first breath, where a hundred other babies had done the same that year, and the grateful eyes of the staff drawn to the clock face "oh thank god, we can have a break!", utterly indifferent. Is the baby breathing? Yes. Good, want a coffee after this? The moment was profoundly holy and i really think i was the only one to glimpse it as such. Mum was drugged and emotionally shut-down from the horrific way she'd been treated, dad was scared stiff, the staff were totally indifferent.

Of course there are better hospitals, better staff, better hossie births. But for me there was no risk of that happening to me. There was no other woman or baby for my midwives to worry about. The tea they had afterwards we all shared, along with cakes, and it came from my teapot. Mine was the only birthing happening there, we were the focus of it, and there was no procedure to follow, no one needing my room or my midwives. I ate the food i wanted, i showered in MY shower with MY soap while XP held our baby, then i got into MY bed, which just happened to be the place where the most incredible thing the world had ever done to me had just happened, and i went to sleep with my beautiful newborn at my breast.

Since then i have only gained more confidence in my ability to birth. At this point in my life i never plan to hospital birth. Of course in a medical emergency i would, but who PLANS one of those?

I asked DP how he felt about us having our babies at home and he said "where else would you have them?". I know i'm the only homebirther he knows, but he's also told me he's NEVER seen a woman come out of birth like i did. I "endured" nothing, i relished it!

I'm not a hippy either. One funny moment in the labour was when the midwives arrived and one told me about how she'd "had her aura smudged" at a homebirth by an older woman who waved a smoking bunch of woods and herbs around her to cleanse her energies. I said "am i a disappointment on my ikea shower curtain then?" and we all laughed. I still have that shower curtain!

If anything BB makes me more determined to share my story, i feel so sad when i read yet another birth where mum was disrespected, baby was disregarded, family was separated. Barring medical necessity my next child will be born at home, with DD, DP and XP and the midwives around us. Born into love, into home. Birth is such a personal thing; such an individual set of hurdles, fears, hopes, dreams, experiences, bring each woman to their choices on how to birth. If my ramblings can do one tenth of what Trish's quiet, confident words did for me for another woman, then i might go on rambling, and be glad of my inability to shut up

Bx

[satya]

No it hasn't changed my mind. Some people here do make home birth sound very appealing but having been through a long, painful birth which had complications there's no way known I'd attempt a home birth.

I was unable to control my pain at home and got uncontrollable shaking with each and every contraction for a couple of hours before I headed to hospital. That stopped the minute I got some decent pain relief.

[Cricket]

I think Hoobs nailed it on the head (as usual) about why homebirth appeals to me, even though I never had a "bad" hospital experience. Great post Bx.

[Nelle]

Yeah I would, in a heartbeat.

Things that complicate that though
- Fast labour, can someone get there in time to assist me (not the biggest issue, since I had Si at home on my own).
- Cost. A homebirth isn't cheap in Australia. Which I want to gvt, to change, any day now... :P
- I'm classed as 'high risk' because the last two births I've haemorrhaged. So...I wonder if that would affect someone taking me on, since birth centres won't take someone 'high risk'.

Got a bit of time to think about it though, considering I'm not pregnant. :P And you can guarantee I'll be enlisting BB to help me figure out my best option.

[Karina]

At first, I wouldnt have considered it.. but that was more because I hadnt really ever heard of people having their babies at home. When people say theyre pregnant, one of the first things other people ask after "whens it due" is "what hospital are you going to" so in my mind, births happened at hospitals.

Having said that, Yes, I would definately consider it now. I've gone so far as to actually find a midwife already so I can book her straight away when I do get pregnant again... and we arent evem trying yet! HAHA.

Being at home really appeals to me. I hated having to get into the car to go to the hospitl when in birth. When I arrived at the hospital, I immediately felt uncomfortable and uneasy and wanted to go back home. So, a homebirth would be my first option for my next pregnancy.

DH is not keen though, much to my disappointment. He says he would rather be in the hospital incase something goes wrong. Fair call, but not sure if he realises that hospitals are sometimes the cause of problems. I just need him to realise that I need to be in a comfortable environment and a hospital is not that for me.

Unfortunately, it is also a bit exxy (The midwives i chatted to charge around $4500.... I wish they publicly funded homebirths in more places.) so if our financial situation cant provide for a homebirth, then I'll go for our local hospital (Ryde). It a small hospital which has a midwife led birthing centre and they do caseload there. They send you home after 4 hours and your midwife visits you at home for the few weeks following the birth. This would be my second option if a homebirth wasnt possible. I mean, the $4500 would be well worth it (i think) but I just dont know if I'd be able to round up that much $! Have to start saving now, i think!

So basically, after my experience giving birth in a big tertiary hospital (cos my local smaller hospital wasnt doing births at the time) I dont think I'd be going down that route again, unless I was classed as "high risk" for whatever reason. They didnt do caseload, so I had whatever midwife was on. When in labour, the midwife was rude to me saying things such as "come on, hurry up, someone else needs this room soon" and as I didnt know her, I didnt feel comfortable with her near me and I certainly didnt want her to touch me. Midwife left to go home when I was in transition. Midwife didnt listen to me, insisted on coaching me to push but I wanted to do it at my own pace (probably the reason I tore so much, had over 2 hours of pushing and had so much bruising that I couldnt pee and needed a catheter for 48 hours). And as I had never met her, I had not been able to discuss a birth plan with her earlier and my hubby was just a stunned mullet the whole time so he didnt really stick up for me.

I think i have to educate him a bit!

sorry for cr@pping on so much!

[Tobily]

So basically, after my experience giving birth in a big tertiary hospital (cos my local smaller hospital wasnt doing births at the time) I dont think I'd be going down that route again, unless I was classed as "high risk" for whatever reason. They didnt do caseload, so I had whatever midwife was on. When in labour, the midwife was rude to me saying things such as "come on, hurry up, someone else needs this room soon" and as I didnt know her, I didnt feel comfortable with her near me and I certainly didnt want her to touch me. Midwife left to go home when I was in transition. Midwife didnt listen to me, insisted on coaching me to push but I wanted to do it at my own pace (probably the reason I tore so much, had over 2 hours of pushing and had so much bruising that I couldnt pee and needed a catheter for 48 hours). And as I had never met her, I had not been able to discuss a birth plan with her earlier and my hubby was just a stunned mullet the whole time so he didnt really stick up for me.

Hugs to you Karina.
Your story is so, so common.
But most women come away from a hospital experience like that believing that it was them...that their bodies failed - not their care.
You've been able to see that your caregivers and your environment failed you, not your body...so next time you can make different choices, and hopefully have a much better experience.
Good luck hun.

[Dasharity]

I feel that I would like to birth my next baby without drugs but will need someone to coax me along the whole way and tell me I can do it every time i say i cant (which will be alot). So i am considering a homebirth for my bext birth and if i do i will use Schmicers DW Victoria, i am just so affraid that i wont cope with the pain, as i relied on the gas so much with my last birth but hated the affect of the pethidine as ds2 was born before it took affect.

[paradise lost]

Dasharity i used the gas too, and yep, i'd also like to go drug free next time (though i'd take the 3rd stage sinto if my MW wanted me to). I keep thinking about how it ACTUALLY felt. For me the gas spaced me out, made it hard for me to communicate, and most importantly gave me something to cling to when the full force of a stormy labour was on me (i used it for the last hour before she was born). In retrospect what helped was: being spaced out made me focus on other things and i KNOW i am capable of focusing on other things without the gas, being unable to communicate meant i couldn't hear ME saying i couldn't do it, so my own positivity was able to resurface because i wasn't trying to talk myself out of it, and if clinging to something is necessary i'll find something different next time - even if i have the detatched mouthpiece to use, to help me focus my breathing and to hang onto.

If i am honest with myself i know the gas helped WAY more psychologically than physically. It's such a "weak" pain reliever they use it clinically when there has to be a wait for morphine, my midwives didn't count it as a drug because it is self administered (mums don't jab their own pethidine in!). I know these things rationally and so rationally if it didn't help me that much then i don't need it next time.

Don't get me wrong, i'm glad i had it last time, DD came so fast and i did tear a little, i can imagine i'd have torn much worse if i'd pushed with those strong ctx, but next time i'll be prepared and i'll cope. We can DO it!!!

Bx

[Karina]

Hugs to you Karina.
Your story is so, so common.
But most women come away from a hospital experience like that believing that it was them...that their bodies failed - not their care.
You've been able to see that your caregivers and your environment failed you, not your body...so next time you can make different choices, and hopefully have a much better experience.
Good luck hun.

Hi Tobily. It took me a really long time to accept that. For probably a year, I felt like my body failed me. But then one day I exploded into tears at DH when I was upset about something else. I talked about everything that was bothering me. I didnt realise how it had affected me, but after i let it all out I reaslised it wasnt me, but more likely the care I recieved (or lack of it) that failed me. It didnt help that after Claire was born my husband was telling me "get over it" when I tried to debreif with him.

I think its importnt to have a caregiver that you feel comfortable with and who knows about and respects your wishes, and I think an independant midwife would be able to offer that to me. From what I can gather (from when I spoke to some IM's) they tend to be open to talking about the birth experience afterwards. Not directly after, but a few weeks or whatever after, which I think is a nice thing. I never had the opportunity nor did any midwife or nurse or anyone on the ward ask how I was. They just wanted to know how my bleeding was and if I had gone to the toilet.

And i think it would be lovely to birth a baby in your own home - a special place that has meaning, rather than a clinical hospital environment. I'm planning it already in my mind, lol!