Scccaarrreeddd!!!

[SiarasMummy]

I am 5 weeks away from having my second and it has just started to dawn on me that I have to go through labour again. I am sh*tting myself! Things didn't go the way I had hoped with my last labour, I was induced at 38 weeks as I had high blood pressure, baby was posterior throughout the whole labour (So I had all the pain in my back which was a nightmare) and because of her position I couldn't push her out and ended up with an episiotomy and forceps. The pain from the stitches for weeks after was horrendous.

This time I am going to be more open to having an epidural early - particularly if the baby is posterior as well - last time I had the epidural just as I was about to push so I had gone through pretty much the whole labour in agony. I have also written a birth plan focusing mostly on communication between myself/midwives/docs - last time nobody told me the baby was posterior until she was stuck and had to be pulled out. I was also not even told that I was experiencing labour pains till I was already 5cm...I went for about 10 hours in labour but was told I was just having a normal reaction to the hormones used on my cervix to induce me.

Anyway, so I am going in to it this time a bit more in control of what I want and expect and a little less naive but I am still very worried and not looking forward to it at all.

I have had quite a few complications this pregnancy, not very serious, but enough to make me worry more. I have had very low blood sugar levels for the past few weeks which have resulted in hypoglycemic episodes - My arm, face and tongue go tingly, then numb and I get blurred vision and sometimes a headache with them. I am going through tests at the moment to find out if there is an underlying cause, the docs have said low blood sugar is quite unusual to this extent during pregnancy and have said I will likely need to be on a glucose drip throughout labour. I have also tested positive for Strep B this time, I didn't last time, so will be put on antibiotics as soon as my waters have broken.
I have also been told due to my blood sugar etc and my blood pressure issues during my last pregnancy I am probably likely to develop pre eclampsia.

These things are playing on my mind and making me already think that I am not going to have any chance of getting the labour I have been hoping for.

Any advice? I just need some encouragement I think

[~ Zarava Flutterby ~]

First of all just wanted to give you a massive
I think no matter how well or unwell our pregnancy has gone we all get to a certain point where we seriously start to doubt ourselves and our bodies, the only thing i can suggest it to research, research, research.
It's all well and good to have a birth plan and be determined to birth in a particular way but chances are it's not always going to happen perfectly.. so go into it knowing what can happen, what you might want and work from there.
Be positive and just remind yourself YOU CAN DO IT

YOU CAN DO IT, YOU CAN DO IT

[Nelle]

Oh man, sounds like your last labour was a bit confusing and confronting! I hear you on the stitches, I remember after my first feeling a bit betrayed that no-one told me that things still are uncomfy afterwards - I sort of thought I'd be back to normal straight away for some naive reason!

Who do you have supporting you in labour? If it's just your partner, is there any chance you know a second person who'd be willing to be there (that you'd be comfy with obviously!)? Just because while one person can be supporting you, the other can be a bit more objective, and help explain what's happening, remind your carers at the hospital of your birth preferences, provide extra encouragement and help remind you and suggest ways to stay focussed. Otherwise chat to your main support person and make sure they know what you need to be told, that you want to stay informed, reminded of ways to focus, things they can do to help you relax and feel safe and focussed. xo

I guess as well, as ZF says, research, look into ways to help you stay relaxed and focussed - if you feel safe and relaxed, this can make ALL the difference to how you labour - if your body feels safe to just do its thing. Like practicing your deep breathing so it's second nature, little mantras to tell yourself (my mantra in my first labour went along the lines of 'this can't possibly last forever' ) or things your support can say that might encourage you, things to visualise or positions to be in.
But also research different low level pain management options - like heat (be it a heat pack, a hot shower or bath) for a back labour, or a tens machine, sterile water injections, massage with a tennis ball - talk to your midwives and see what they offer. You might find that once you know all your options, you can get by with non-invasive support. I know for me, along with deep breathing, warm water makes a massive difference in how I labour - pain feels unmanageable and overwhelming until I hop in a shower or bath and then I find my focus and labour really efficiently! But if your birth support can have a list of things to try/suggest, then you go in really prepared.

As well - I guess just remember that each birth can be SO different! My first bub started posterior (no-one's quite sure how he came out, it was a waterbirth, but we think probably anterior) and took 11 hours, my second started anterior and lasted under an hour. Two very very different births! So while it's so helpful to cover the logistics of all situations, and know your options for each scenario, I don't think you can automatically expect this labour to be anything like your last. The pain might be completely different (either because of bub's position, your birthing environment, or you just trying different managing techniques this time around) and you might find it a completely different experience!

All the best, however it happens! But you CAN do it, you can prepare as much as you can, and then you and your support just stay calm and go with it. xo

[OceanPrincess]

You can do it, you can do it!!!!



Go girl go girl go!

Stay positive. Deal with each thing that happens as it happens. Don't go stressing about things that may or may not occur!

[kristi14]

I can understand why you are feeling this way. You need to embrace this experience you are about to embark on again and make it YOURS, dont let it get thrown into being a "condition". Labour and birth is a beautiful experience, yes, sometimes things dont go to plan, and with that you need to keep an open mind to doing the necessary measures should the need arise, but if all does go beautifully, even if you are induced, then you have the right to enjoy your experience 100%.

Research!! Personally i found Ina May's book very helpful and it helped me feel confident and empowered and i walked into that hospital room and took my experience for myself, instead of letting it become that "condition" my births had been with my 6 other babies.

Confidence, empowerment, find your inner voice so you can speak up and say what you are wanting. I also found having a doula was the best thing i ever did, she was my voice when i was to inside myself to speak, she was also encouragement.

You can do this

[HotI]

I have also written a birth plan focusing mostly on communication between myself/midwives/docs - last time nobody told me the baby was posterior until she was stuck and had to be pulled out.

I had the same thing happen, and thought i must have just been a wuss cos the pain was so great. i didn't know she was posterior until my dd arrived facing the 'wrong' way. Hope you have an awesome birth and are listened to and given respect during the process.

[SiarasMummy]

Thanks for all the replies.
I am actually in communication with a 3rd year student midwife that I was put in contact with through an agency called midwives naturally. I have been speaking with her about my pregnancy and she has also attended a couple of my antenatal appointments. It is also up to me whether I want her to be present during the birth and she has offered to support me and act as a sort of advocate for me.
Part of me thinks it would be a good idea to have her there with me (as well as my husband, and possible my mum too) but another part of me only wants the people with me that really HAVE to be with me. I don't want to feel crowded when I am having this baby but I am also scared that I will be too wrapped up in what I am doing to question any decisions by the docs etc that I may not be happy with.

I definitely understand that things don't always go the way we want during labour - my last labour was a good example of that - but I want to at least have a go at doing things the way I want before having any kind of interventions that I hadn't anticipated. The epidural is something I will definitely consider a lot earlier this time if the baby is posterior but up until I am in too much pain I would like to labour the way I want, nothing to 'tie me down', no constant monitoring, I want to be able to get in the bath or shower whenever I want etc. I just get the feeling that with the glucose drip and the anitbiotics I have already been told will need mean that I am going to be more restricted and probably require more monitoring than I was hoping for.
I guess I am just stressing about things that may not even happen but after my last experience I am really hoping for less restriction when I'm in labour and also no stitches, I would really be happy if I could get out of it this time without an episiotomy!

[HotI]

I had a student midwife follow me through my pregnancy, but different things leading up to the birth meant i didn't invite her to the actual birth. you have to be comfortable, and sometimes it's not until the time that you will know whether you want her there or not. my student was absolutely fine with my decision and visited after the birth a few times.

you can refuse to give consent for an episiotomy. sometimes tearing is better to heal than a cut anyway. hopefully you won't have either!

[Jellybean29]

Some thoughts below that helped me relax leading up to my birth, i put them on post it notes around the house


We are made to do this work and it’s not easy...I would say that pain is part of the glory, or the tremendous mystery of life. And that if anything, it's a kind of privilege to stand so close to such an incredible miracle.

We have a secret in our culture, and it's not that birth is painful. It's that women are strong.

The whole point of woman-centered birth is the knowledge that a woman is the birth power source. She may need, and deserve, help, but in essence, she always had, currently has, and will have the power.

Just as a woman's heart knows how and when to pump, her lungs to inhale, and her hand to pull back from fire, so she knows when and how to give birth.

300,000 women will be giving birth with you today.
Relax and breathe and do nothing else.
Labor is hard work, it hurts and you can do it.

If in doubt, breathe out



There is no way out of the experience except through it

Birth is not only about making babies. It's about making mothers~ strong, competent, capable mothers who trust themselves and believe in their inner strength

Birth is powerful.....let it empower you

Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.

Attending births is like growing roses. You have to marvel at the ones that just open up and bloom at the first kiss of the sun but you wouldn't dream of pulling open the petals of the tightly closed buds and forcing them to blossom to your time line

Birth is an opportunity to transcend. To rise above what we are accustomed to, reach deeper inside ourselves than we are familiar with, and to see not only what we are truly made of, but the strength we can access in and through Birth

So the question remains. Is childbirth painful? Yes. It can be, along with a thousand amazing sensations for which we have yet to find adequate language. Every Birth is different, and every woman’s experience and telling of her story will be unique

The instant of birth is exquisite. Pain and joy are one at this moment. Ever after, the dim recollection is so sweet that we speak to our children with a gratitude they never understand



As women, we are inherently both power-filled and power-full. Each one of us knows on some level that we do have awesome strength at our core

Never underestimate the power of a woman AND never underestimate the power of YOU!!

“…fear has to be present in order for courage to exist. The English word ‘courage’ is derived from the French word for the heart, coeur. Finding the heart to continue doing the right thing in the face of great fear inspires others to become nobler human beings.”

[SunnyRain]

I thought I was the only one who can't get through pregnancy without filling her medical record with every conceivable ailment.

I had P.E with my first pregnancy. My waters broke naturally but I was given an epidural to keep my BP down. I never felt an actual contraction and I had trouble dealing with that labour, so I was determined to have a natural water birth the next time.

Well next time rolled around and I ended up with obstetric cholestasis which meant I had to be induced for my baby's safety. Good bye water birth, but I did have a drug free birth. It was extremely painful and the 2nd phase was long. I'm glad I experienced it, but it helped me appreciate the epidural I spent the last 2.5 years loathing.

Have the epidural if you want it, it takes the pain away. Don't let anyone make you feel guilty. Wait until contractions are 5 minutes apart. Talk to your doctor about a walking epidural.

I think if you're on a glucose drip movement will be restricted, but the strep b thing is just a canula in your hand, you can even get it wet (yes, I tested +ve to it, too). Any way, if you're already attached to a drip, the addition of an epidural won't be so major.

Hope this helps. I know how you feel.

Sent from my Desire HD