Oh man, sounds like your last labour was a bit confusing and confronting! I hear you on the stitches, I remember after my first feeling a bit betrayed that no-one told me that things still are uncomfy afterwards - I sort of thought I'd be back to normal straight away for some naive reason!

Who do you have supporting you in labour? If it's just your partner, is there any chance you know a second person who'd be willing to be there (that you'd be comfy with obviously!)? Just because while one person can be supporting you, the other can be a bit more objective, and help explain what's happening, remind your carers at the hospital of your birth preferences, provide extra encouragement and help remind you and suggest ways to stay focussed. Otherwise chat to your main support person and make sure they know what you need to be told, that you want to stay informed, reminded of ways to focus, things they can do to help you relax and feel safe and focussed. xo

I guess as well, as ZF says, research, look into ways to help you stay relaxed and focussed - if you feel safe and relaxed, this can make ALL the difference to how you labour - if your body feels safe to just do its thing. Like practicing your deep breathing so it's second nature, little mantras to tell yourself (my mantra in my first labour went along the lines of 'this can't possibly last forever' ) or things your support can say that might encourage you, things to visualise or positions to be in.
But also research different low level pain management options - like heat (be it a heat pack, a hot shower or bath) for a back labour, or a tens machine, sterile water injections, massage with a tennis ball - talk to your midwives and see what they offer. You might find that once you know all your options, you can get by with non-invasive support. I know for me, along with deep breathing, warm water makes a massive difference in how I labour - pain feels unmanageable and overwhelming until I hop in a shower or bath and then I find my focus and labour really efficiently! But if your birth support can have a list of things to try/suggest, then you go in really prepared.

As well - I guess just remember that each birth can be SO different! My first bub started posterior (no-one's quite sure how he came out, it was a waterbirth, but we think probably anterior) and took 11 hours, my second started anterior and lasted under an hour. Two very very different births! So while it's so helpful to cover the logistics of all situations, and know your options for each scenario, I don't think you can automatically expect this labour to be anything like your last. The pain might be completely different (either because of bub's position, your birthing environment, or you just trying different managing techniques this time around) and you might find it a completely different experience!

All the best, however it happens! But you CAN do it, you can prepare as much as you can, and then you and your support just stay calm and go with it. xo