Inform the nurses not to let anyone near your room without asking YOU first. Dont be afraid to disappoint people by politely declining any visits you dont want. And if they come round after you get out of hospital, keep the screen door locked so when they knock and your not wanting visitors, just open the door and say "Thanks for stopping by but you should have called. Nows not a good time for a visit but if you call me tomorrow we can organise a time. Thanks!"
Totally not unreasonable or selfish or ungrateful. I went through the exact same thing after a 23 hour labour but being awake for almost 48 hours. At one stage I had 15 people in my room and the nurse actually asked some people to leave (good on her !!!). I mouthed "thank you" to her.
My parents live three streets away but they never drop in unless calling first (after years of training them) but IL's live in the next suburb so they often drop in unannounced whenever they feel like it. I have a good relationship with them so I just told them that if they dont call first when this baby comes along, I wont be opening the door so they should save their petrol (they are misers) and call first. I'm hoping this works.
In the SMS this time, DH will just give all the stats and simply say "Will let you know when we are ready for visitors as Mum and Bub are resting". We learned our lesson the first time around .....
P.S. This might be a good topic to bring up in our Belly Buddies as this is something some first time mothers might not have thought of. I know I didnt.
Last edited by Deltadawn; January 28th, 2009 at 01:33 PM.
True DD, Whoever out of us is next in there should mention it.
Thanks everyone for your responses. I have sent out an email. So far DH's family haven't commented, but a few friends and my family have replied saying that they totally understand.
As I now live about an hour out of Melb, this time around I doubt that we will ahve drop ins here without a call first. We lived 8 mins from Melb at my old house. I will let DH's fam know if the phone is off the hook, it means no visits. They MUST call first.
Email sounds perfect!! Infact I may even borrow it for my second. My MIL, was horrendous!!(she usually is but this was the cream on the cupcake) I had a pretty awful birth with my DS and when she arrived the following day (he was born close to midnight) DH asked for 1/2 an hour even as DS and I had just fallen asleep and she went off her head and didn't speak to us for months after. I think for next time round if the expectations have already been set even before bubs arrives then no-one can get upset or expect any different, good on you for being so tactful. Babies bring out the best and worst in people. Good luck hope this birth goes as well as the first.
I do actually. A few friends have said to me that they think that I have done the right thing, but DH's family have not commented. I think that they feel they are immune and they will jsut show up anyway. DH is going to speak to them and make sure they realise it applies to them too.
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My MIL, was horrendous!!(she usually is but this was the cream on the cupcake)
I had a pretty awful birth with my DS and when she arrived the following day (he was born close to midnight) DH asked for 1/2 an hour even as DS and I had just fallen asleep and she went off her head and didn't speak to us for months after. I think for next time round if the expectations have already been set even before bubs arrives then no-one can get upset or expect any different, good on you for being so tactful. Babies bring out the best and worst in people. Good luck hope this birth goes as well as the first.
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