Need Brutally honest advice re Doula

[OutbackWoman]

Hi Ladies,
so some of you know what I'm trying to do for my birth, but here's a run down for those that don't (might be a bit long sorry)

So... my first birth was pretty ordinary (read Crap!) and this time I would like to get a Doula, I have heard good things about them and would really like someone who was going to be there for me, and not their own self interests (read MOTHER!)

The problem is this...

I live on a station 7 hours from the nearest hospital, now the going into labour thing is taken care of, I have booked the birthing house to stay at for 3 weeks (2 before and 1 after) at Port Augusta so thats not an issue (it's cheap too! $60 for the whole time, the rest is covered by gov funding! woot!)
My Doula (whoever she is- looking at two different ones at the moment) lives in Adelaide, which is 5 hours drive from Port Augusta.

Now If I get a elective Induction this is not going to an issue, but I can't count on that..

My question is do I get the Doula or not? Please be brutally honest, because It's quite a bit of money to fork out for a doula who may not get there in time, or be there for anything but the pushing stage, and that is the reason I want one... for the first few stages...

I know 5 hours is not long, however my DS came in 7 hours...

What other options do I have besides a Doula? (if someone says my mum! ) I could have just anyone, but I really want the experience that comes with a Doula or trainee Doula or someone who has had a Doula and can offer suggestions re positions, pain control etc (I spent the entire birth last time on my back.. not happy!)

Anyway.. that's it, sorry for being so long... remember, please be brutal! speak your mind! lol

[Mum2Romone]

I think you are better off with a female friend, anyone that has given birth already themselves and can support you when you need them too. That way you could call them when you are due and they could come stay or if you are close,as in local to each other she will be able to get there.

is there anyone in your life that could be that person? Maybe an aunt, grandmother even....

[OutbackWoman]

I think you are better off with a female friend, anyone that has given birth already themselves and can support you when you need them too. That way you could call them when you are due and they could come stay or if you are close,as in local to each other she will be able to get there.

is there anyone in your life that could be that person? Maybe an aunt, grandmother even....

Nope... All of my Friends and Family are interstate.. But I'm not sure who I would ask...

Mum is out, obviously and so is my sister ( that's all I need is her saying " I did this without drugs, my baby was huge blah blah blah!") To be honest most of my friends are uni friends and would come, but not for me, they would come for the experience I think... being nursing students and all...

I think I'm on my own.. Oh well it was worth a shot, Hopefully the midwifes are nice? **gulp**

And realistically I don't even thing DP will get there in time (unless I get induced) 7 hour labour, 7 hour trip? hmmmm Which leads me to another thought... what in God's name am I going to do with DS?!?!

[Bumperstump Cummerbund]

Have you considered a homebirth? Is there an Independant Midwife around your area that you could talk to?

[OutbackWoman]

Have you considered a homebirth? Is there an Independant Midwife around your area that you could talk to?

Considered Yes, but don't qualify (it's even public-ally funded in my area ) The nearest Independant midwife is at Whyalla I think, but that still 8 hours trip away...
would have been awesome to do that, but sadly they don't take you if 1. you have a BMI higher than 35 and 2. you live over an hours drive from the midwifes home

[MusicLover83]

Could the IM from Whyalla come to the birth with you in Port Augusta? You would have a better chance of getting some birth support and care for your son if you went to Adelaide for the birth but I know that is not really practical and heaps further for your DP to go.
Hmmm...

PS - I used to live in Roxby Downs, lol.

[UsPlus2]

is giving birth in Adelaide a possiblity? I know its further from home, but if it means you get a birth partner maybe worth it?

and I hear you on what to do with DS. My family is 2.5hrs away and currently flooded in for at least a week, have no idea what I would do if I went into labour tonight.

[Catastrophic]

I wouldn't givin your situation.

Re: to pain, look into some of the hypno birthin and some of those kind of threads. Stay off your back, it slows down labour and does nothing for the pain, birthing balls are great, and standing, leaning, showers and baths. But i would advoid the bed, but thats just me.

[angelaartsstudent]

I wouldn't if I was in your situation either, personally.

You might be able to find a student midwife who lives in Port Augusta but attends uni in Adelaide? Chances are probably slim though. I had a student midwife and she was great...but there is always a chance they will be at another birth/at uni and won't be able to attend anyway.

My personal opion - of course, not meant to offend:

You have organised things nice and early. You're still in 1st tri. If you "train" yourself up, educate yourself, looking into all the hypobirthing stuff, learn about some personal pain management, some assertiveness training, learn how to write a good, assertive birth plan etc...I see no reason why you can't be a perfect example of a strong female and DIY! :-)

I would personally say don't choose a family member. I think sometimes you need someone with some distance from the birth so they can focus on helping you and not get all emotional.

[helle]

Re: The Dreaded Bed
I gave birth with the bed propping me up in a sitting position, with my bits sort of at the edge. Then the middies and my mum (poor mum XD) pushed my legs back as I pushed, so I was pretty much squatting I guess but without the strain of holding my body weight. During labour i also knelt on it and draped myself over the back while DH rubbed my back. The bed I don't think should be something to fear, but rather another tool you can use to help you feel comfortable. Just because it's a bed doesn't mean you have to lay on it.

Just my 2 cents

Oh, and I didn't tear.

[OutbackWoman]

Hi Again ladies!
an update!
A few of the Doula's that I had emailed actually did email me back (emailed before I started this thread) and we got talking about how she (the doula) was going to make it to the birth...
I politely declined the doula offering her services for 150 per night waiting time! lol, but another doula has been coming up with ideas about how we can make it work...

Such ideas included having a private midwife for a home birth, anyway to cut the story short, the MW who she has been talking to about me had her own plane! and is offering to pick up the doula on the way out!
Firstly I have to say, even though I havent actually employed the doula she is going out of her way to come up with a solution which I am LOVING!!!!

So.... now the question is...

Apart from travel costs, what do you think the price would be for a MW for a birth only, because it might be a bit difficult for her to provide pre and post natal care due to our distance (and the RFDS will fly in every month and do that anyway)

and just theorising... what do you think she is likely to charge me for the plane?? (it's about an hour and a half flight)

[meow]

the MW who she has been talking to about me had her own plane!

That is SO cool!!! What a wicked MW!

My MW cost $1500 for the birth part only. So maybe about that including travel seeing country MWs are usually cheaper?

[FabFiona]

Before reading your recent post I had thought of any Port Aug based breastfeeding groups or lactation consultants? Whilst not strictly doulas they might be willing to act as your birth support person.

However this doula sounds great. I hope it works out for you.

[OutbackWoman]

I hadn't thought of that, good idea will look into it

So far the Doula, and MW are going out the window... I have decided I'm not going to pay over a thousand dollars for a Doula if she is not going to make it...

so guess I'm on my own!

[Cassius2]

i would still persist in trying to find someone in PA for the time that you are there before the birth (this is of course if you are not going with the IM for a HB...which is the ideal i reckon!). those last weeks i am guessing will be with you alone (or at least largely without your DH) and it will be awesome to have that extra support during that time, not just in relation to the birth, but also the physical and emotional stuff that can really affect us in the time before birth (and can impact the birth experience). a doula or an IM provide that support as well.

i that you can find a wonderful solution to this tricky situation xx