Need Brutally honest advice re Doula
Hi Ladies,
so some of you know what I'm trying to do for my birth, but here's a run down for those that don't (might be a bit long sorry)
So... my first birth was pretty ordinary (read Crap!) and this time I would like to get a Doula, I have heard good things about them and would really like someone who was going to be there for me, and not their own self interests (read MOTHER!)
The problem is this...
I live on a station 7 hours from the nearest hospital, now the going into labour thing is taken care of, I have booked the birthing house to stay at for 3 weeks (2 before and 1 after) at Port Augusta so thats not an issue (it's cheap too! $60 for the whole time, the rest is covered by gov funding! woot!)
My Doula (whoever she is- looking at two different ones at the moment) lives in Adelaide, which is 5 hours drive from Port Augusta.
Now If I get a elective Induction this is not going to an issue, but I can't count on that..
My question is do I get the Doula or not? Please be brutally honest, because It's quite a bit of money to fork out for a doula who may not get there in time, or be there for anything but the pushing stage, and that is the reason I want one... for the first few stages...
I know 5 hours is not long, however my DS came in 7 hours...
What other options do I have besides a Doula? (if someone says my mum!) I could have just anyone, but I really want the experience that comes with a Doula or trainee Doula or someone who has had a Doula and can offer suggestions re positions, pain control etc (I spent the entire birth last time on my back.. not happy!)
Anyway.. that's it, sorry for being so long... remember, please be brutal! speak your mind! lol
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I think you are better off with a female friend, anyone that has given birth already themselves and can support you when you need them too. That way you could call them when you are due and they could come stay or if you are close,as in local to each other she will be able to get there.
is there anyone in your life that could be that person? Maybe an aunt, grandmother even....
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I wouldn't givin your situation.
Re: to pain, look into some of the hypno birthin and some of those kind of threads. Stay off your back, it slows down labour and does nothing for the pain, birthing balls are great, and standing, leaning, showers and baths. But i would advoid the bed, but thats just me.
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Re: The Dreaded Bed
I gave birth with the bed propping me up in a sitting position, with my bits sort of at the edge. Then the middies and my mum (poor mum XD) pushed my legs back as I pushed, so I was pretty much squatting I guess but without the strain of holding my body weight. During labour i also knelt on it and draped myself over the back while DH rubbed my back. The bed I don't think should be something to fear, but rather another tool you can use to help you feel comfortable. Just because it's a bed doesn't mean you have to lay on it.
Just my 2 cents
Oh, and I didn't tear.
Platinum Member. Love a friend xxx
I wouldn't if I was in your situation either, personally.
You might be able to find a student midwife who lives in Port Augusta but attends uni in Adelaide? Chances are probably slim though. I had a student midwife and she was great...but there is always a chance they will be at another birth/at uni and won't be able to attend anyway.
My personal opion - of course, not meant to offend:
You have organised things nice and early. You're still in 1st tri. If you "train" yourself up, educate yourself, looking into all the hypobirthing stuff, learn about some personal pain management, some assertiveness training, learn how to write a good, assertive birth plan etc...I see no reason why you can't be a perfect example of a strong female and DIY! :-)
I would personally say don't choose a family member. I think sometimes you need someone with some distance from the birth so they can focus on helping you and not get all emotional.
Nope... All of my Friends and Family are interstate.. But I'm not sure who I would ask...
Mum is out, obviously and so is my sister ( that's all I need is her saying " I did this without drugs, my baby was huge blah blah blah!") To be honest most of my friends are uni friends and would come, but not for me, they would come for the experience I think... being nursing students and all...
I think I'm on my own..Oh well it was worth a shot, Hopefully the midwifes are nice? **gulp**
And realistically I don't even thing DP will get there in time (unless I get induced) 7 hour labour, 7 hour trip? hmmmm Which leads me to another thought... what in God's name am I going to do with DS?!?!
Registered User
Have you considered a homebirth? Is there an Independant Midwife around your area that you could talk to?
Considered Yes, but don't qualify (it's even public-ally funded in my area
would have been awesome to do that, but sadly they don't take you if 1. you have a BMI higher than 35 and 2. you live over an hours drive from the midwifes home
Registered User
Could the IM from Whyalla come to the birth with you in Port Augusta? You would have a better chance of getting some birth support and care for your son if you went to Adelaide for the birth but I know that is not really practical and heaps further for your DP to go.
Hmmm...
PS - I used to live in Roxby Downs, lol.
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is giving birth in Adelaide a possiblity? I know its further from home, but if it means you get a birth partner maybe worth it?
and I hear you on what to do with DS. My family is 2.5hrs away and currently flooded in for at least a week, have no idea what I would do if I went into labour tonight.
HI Music Lover and UsPlus2,
I did think of Adelaide, and it would mean I would get my Doula, but it would also mean that DP would definately not make it to the birth, call me a softy but I think it's more important that DP get to be there, than my needs in Labour.. And there is no accommodation in Adelaide to access, as the gov funded stuff only covers your to the place of medical need, which is Port Augusta, and I really can't afford a motel for 3-4 weeks around the birth time
The Midwife in Whyalla won't come to PA, because I will be birthing in a Hospital, so there is some cross over of professional services (whatever that means!) So that's out too
Oh well... Thanks for everyone answers, please keep them coming
Registered User
Could you birth in the motel in PA with the Whyalla IM? I'm guessing she means she doesn't like to do hospital support?
Registered User
What a sticky situation you're in! What do other mothers in your area do when it's time? 5 hours to hospital is pushing it. If you had a 7 hour labour first time, then there is a good chance it'll be shorter next time round. Women up in the cape have this problem as well. They move down here (Cairns) a few weeks before the birth, and hang around waiting for bub to be born. Any chance you could get a doula that could move out and stay with you the week's leading up to the birth? Big ask I know, that's all I can think of.
Registered User
Hon call this place and see if they can recommend someone from Port Augusta?
Port Augusta Community Midwifery Programme (public)
Port Augusta Hospital & Regional Health Services, Hospital Rd, PORT AUGUSTA SA
Phone: (08) 8648 5500
You may have already tried this. I hope you can find one from Port Augusta..
I have a friend who works at Leigh Creek (in ER) will ask her if she knows anyone at Port Augusta and get back to you.
The accomodation is only to be used as a 'waiting' house... so I guess that's out. I don't qualify for Homebirth anyway because on my higher than 35 BMI
Most of the ladies in our area are considerably closer than we are to town, in saying that though, they would go down with their husbands before time (which my DP can't really do at this stage because we are having staff problems, but might be an idea closer if I can convince him!)
I asked the Doula if she would consider taking a 'holiday' in Port Augusta and she i going to charge me $150 per night!
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You could always just not realise labour was so quick and have the baby at your accomodationAnd you can homebirth with a BMI over 35- just not under the public system.
Registered User
$150!! geez!
I like Meow's idea, just have a 'really quick labour'
Hi Again ladies!
an update!
A few of the Doula's that I had emailed actually did email me back (emailed before I started this thread) and we got talking about how she (the doula) was going to make it to the birth...
I politely declined the doula offering her services for 150 per night waiting time! lol, but another doula has been coming up with ideas about how we can make it work...
Such ideas included having a private midwife for a home birth, anyway to cut the story short, the MW who she has been talking to about me had her own plane! and is offering to pick up the doula on the way out!
Firstly I have to say, even though I havent actually employed the doula she is going out of her way to come up with a solution which I am LOVING!!!!
So.... now the question is...
Apart from travel costs, what do you think the price would be for a MW for a birth only, because it might be a bit difficult for her to provide pre and post natal care due to our distance (and the RFDS will fly in every month and do that anyway)
and just theorising... what do you think she is likely to charge me for the plane?? (it's about an hour and a half flight)
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