Hi Ren

One thing I read in Juju Sundin's Birth Skills book is that you can't feel disappointed with your birth if you know that you've tried your very best. For some that will mean a natural birth; for others it will mean trying as hard as possible for a natural birth and having drugs if and when they need them. I fell into the latter category and was ecstatic about my birth even though I had an epidural and forceps because I knew I'd tried my very best and was as well prepared as I could possibly be.

Also, I think taking a doula is a FANTASTIC decision. I wouldn't worry too much about the experience you're having with your midwives. It would be nice if you felt more nurtured and our system should provide continuity of care, but given the stack of cards that we're dealt, I think concentrate on the relationship you're establishing with your doula.

My main guide was the book I mentioned and I honestly didn't have much interaction with the midwives whatsoever because I used its pain management techniques (until the epidural) so really didn't have much use for the midwives. They popped in every now and again but when they did they just watched me bouncing up and down on my fitball bashing my stress balls together.

I can't say "don't stress" because everyone stresses about their first labour, but don't put TOOOO much pressure on yourself and give yourself a pat on the back for thinking things through beforehand.

Best of luck.

Fiona