Ok guys, get your pom poms at the ready. I really need your help.
As a bit of a history,
My first son was born at 36 weeks 2 days, tragically he died inutero and was stillborn and I went through a harrowing 11 hour labour which was induced. I had an epidural (which didn't work) and I ended up with PTSD after his birth.
After a lot of work and de-briefing I managed to get to 38 weeks 3 days before I couldn't go and further and my second son was born via induction. Emotionally I couldn't go any further, I just wanted him here safe and sound. I managed to do it without drugs, not even gas and from first niggle to born was 2 1/2 hours.
This time I want to do what ever I can to avoid an induction. I want to feel what spontaneous labour feels like, I want my baby to choose their due date. I want the excitement of those first niggles turning into contractions. I want to know what a natural labour is for me. How long will it take, what will it feel like?
But I'm beginning to doubt myself. I'm feeling panicked and nervous. My Ob is very low intervention and is happy if I want to go post-dates even but the internal struggle is my biggest enemy. I'm having twice weekly CTG's and regular scans to keep an eye on bub and all is well.
I've done up a list of birth mantras (below) and I'm trying to read them as least daily. Other than that I guess I just need to quiet my mind and let my body do its work.
So any wise advice, insightful information or pep talks are welcomed and appreciated.
Lv a nervous Spring xx
The power and intensity of my contractions cannot be stronger than me, because it is me.
This is not pain, this is exactly what my body is designed to do.
I welcome each contraction. Each contraction brings me closer to meeting my baby.
I look forward to giving birth.
I picture myself calm and serene, I have looked forward to this day and want to experience it wholly.
I am not afraid. I give birth with faith and trust. I trust myself, I trust my body, I have inner help.
I believe in my body’s ability to give birth naturally.
I believe my body does not need intervention but instead knows how to birth my baby.
I believe any pain is life giving and manageable.
I believe my body will not abandon me.
I believe I will have the strength to do this.
I do not fear birth, I look forward to birth and to meeting my baby.
I will not focus on the pain but instead tell myself every contraction will bring my baby closer to being born.
I believe birth can be magical.
I believe birth to be an experience of love.
I believe I will be active and alert and that I will not need
intervention or medical assistance.
I am relaxed and calm as birth approaches.
I will not fight this process but trust in my birthing instincts.
I have faith in my body and trust in its ability to give birth.
I have enjoyed being pregnant and will enjoy giving birth.
I will search deep inside myself during birth and stay focussed.
Every breath will bring my baby closer to being born.
I close my eyes and picture my baby’s birth. I picture a gentle and loving birth.
I picture my body knowing what to do and opening up wholly to birth.
I picture my baby being in the best position for birth.
I feel the sensations and know they are life giving and not to be feared – my body will protect me and my baby.
I picture myself rocking and swaying and easing the baby down.
I tell the baby it is safe and we can do this together.
I talk to the baby and ask it to come.
I picture the birth and imagine the baby’s head descending through my body.
I imagine the sensation of my baby’s head crowning and I am relaxed. I do not feel pain, only excitement.
I imagine feeling my baby’s soft wet head and feeling love.
I imagine the sensation of my baby leaving my body to be
pleasurable.
I picture my baby being born into my arms easily and without fear.
Good on you honey for reaching out. Firstly - your body innately knows what to do. It is imprinted on your DNA... Fear closes our bodies down - acceptance opens us up.
Your affirmations are great - just a little tweak if you don't mind me suggesting it? Our minds don't get that negative is any differebt to positive.
For example: "I will not fight this process - change that to I go with my body & accept the birthing process... " for example.
I am not afraid - change this perhaps to - I enter the journey of birth with clarity, peace & a deep knowing that I am supported..."
Change any afraid, fear, to something positive. Our subconscious latches on to the "fear" & it gives you that.
As for going term. I understand how hard this is for you Harry left & we will never know why. You have learnt the painful reality that babies sometimes are not ours to hold - the pain & unfairness of that is hideous. This baby in your belly has her/his own reality - it is highly unlikely to be the same as Harry's. An induction does not make live birth any more possible in the absence of any markers.
Honey, statistically the best marker of intra uterine health is healthy movement. Keep a track of those movements - keep a kick chart & know that she/he is fine.
Remember that a due date can be anywhere from 2 weeks prior to your EDD to 2 weeks past & that is completely normal.
They are some really great suggestions Inanna, I'll make those changes.
I guess I need to be honest with myself as to why I feel fear.
I feel fear because I'm worried that waiting will mean that I am risking this baby too. There is no reason (medical or otherwise) for me to feel this way. I just want to be a 'normal' pregnant woman with the 'normal' pregnant jitters but I'm not.
I detest fear, I want it gone. I just don't know how. Each time I think of the wait leading up to labour my heart flutters and I get nervous. I wish I knew the answers.
Don't get me wrong, I'm doing much better this time then at the same stage last time, I feel much more certain of my ability. I just want to keep it together a bit longer.
Something I have learned is when you name fear out loud - it starts to get smaller. Think of it as shrinking down... Shrink it down in your head...
You said it yourself. There is no reason medical or otherwise why this baby won't be born warm & healthy into your hands... That is the most likely outcome above all others!
Something else is to plan - plan the days and weeks bbs
you can do this spring and you v got all of us women behind you cheering you on.
i have no words of wisdom huni just alot of hugs and labour vibes xxxxxx
Sign me up Spring!
I think acupuncture helped me, I was playing chicken with an induction but after 2 sessions of acupuncture i went into spontaneous labour. I had augmentation at the hospital but I progressed well and she was born six hours after arriving at hospital. I think anyone would be scared in your shoes, its completely understandable. But we'll help you hang on until labour starts for you. You can do it!!
You can do it!
I was petrified of an induction second time around, 24 hours after my MW assured me I would be allowed to go into labour spontaneously my daughter was born.
I feel so much better just reading this thread and knowing I've got you all on my side.
Well almost through day one. What you said rings true Deb, fear is less powerful if it is spoken. I'm still scared out of my wits but I'm going to try to get my fears out there.
I was thinking this afternoon, perhaps I should try and be positive, it isn't the birth that scares me, that is the easy part, it is the lead up that scares me. At least I'm not frightened of both.
Well I've just finalised packing my bag. I feel settled knowing it's there ready to go. I've decided to wear the same nighty I wore when in labour with DS2. I took it off before it got messy IYKWIM so it is clean. I figure I had such a good labour with him it can't hurt.
Aaah your lucky nightie!
I had a lucky skirt that I took to all of my u/s... One day I went without my skirt... My obs even said: "I'm not sure we should do this without the skirt"...
I think the nightie is a great idea - it's all positive vibes. Sometimes a photo of you and your DH can help... Or something from nature that you are particularly attracted to... I had a rock with me that was special... Bunya nuts are very powerful - the Aboriginal women find them sacred... I have some if you would like some??? The Bunyas up here have a special significance & they are so old and have seen many of our indigenous sisters birth their babies... Just an idea...
Pop in there a rose quartz... Actually don't. I will lend you my special special rose quartz... I am about to receive my Masters attunement for Reiki and this Rose Quartz has been in the Gompa at Chenrezig, it's been at very special healing sessions, all of my Reiki attunements - at Mels Blessingway & a few others, At a couple of other births.
PM me your addy & I will post it up to be at your birth - full of beautiful loving Energy from manydifferent and special women/situations.
If you would like that - it would be an honour to post it to you.
Need a spontaneous labour cheer squad
Reply With QuoteHarry left & we will never know why. You have learnt the painful reality that babies sometimes are not ours to hold - the pain & unfairness of that is hideous. This baby in your belly has her/his own reality - it is highly unlikely to be the same as Harry's. An induction does not make live birth any more possible in the absence of any markers.
YOu can do it huN!!!!!!! 
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