No visitors

[ElleJay]

I'm hoping to do the same tbh - I don't mind while I'm in hospital, but when I'm home I don't want visitors except my ILs and my dad and grandmother, just to give me time to adjust from 1 child to 2.

I think ZF has the right idea, a bulk SMS (and if anyone calls, tell them too if they don't get an SMS)


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk - even though I should be cleaning

[delphmoon]

I'm glad I'm not the only one that thinks like this...phew.

DH seems to think it would be presumptuous to assume people will want to visit and that we will look rude if we put it in an SMS ... we know they are going to want to visit but can't appear to know...male logic?????? LOL

So DH is in agreeance that he will send them on their merry way should they show up at the hossie or at home. Meanwhile we are hoping word of mouth will help- by telling some members of the family they might spread the word.

[WannabeMum]

I don't think it's presumptuous at all, especially if it's a bulk sms (and it happened last time!). Personally I actually think it's rude to turn up on the doorstep straight after someone's had a baby WITHOUT calling to see if it's ok. I have NEVER been offended by someone saying "it's not a good time" or in the case of my SIL "I'm going to have a sleep now" (obviously a very gentle way of saying "please leave").

I hope no one is offended by a completely natural and normal wish to spend some time as a family before introducing your new bubby to the world. We certainly intend on having day 1 as only immediate family, and please call before visiting after that. But I have very practical family, they wont let me lift a finger

Good luck with your new arrival, I hope it all goes smoothly - and at least you know you're not alone with wanting to be alone, lol!

[delphmoon]

Unfortunately we do have some family members that show up with their horrid uncontrollable son ( that's a whole other story). They did it to me the day after I gave birth and wouldn't get the message to leave. I will be targeting them this time lol.

As I explained to DH, I don't want to worry about iow tidy the house is or whether I'm dressed and presentable. I don't want yo have to hide away in my bedroom trying to breastfed my baby ( because I feel awkward bfing infront of dhs brothesr). And to be honest I don't want my newborn passed from person to person like a pass the parcel game.

The stress of it all- but I'm sticking yo my guns. FWIW, I would never ever go and visit a new fam without calling. Am I the only one?

Thanks for ur responses girls

[NaeNae]

No hun your not the only one, I am always reluctant to visit a new family. I send a text to see how their going, wish them well and let them know that I am happy to wait until they give me the green light x

[roses]

I have a rule that visitors must bring a meal (for us - not to share with them), do a chore (washing, rubbish whatever) and never stay longer than 30 mins! And yes, I tell them!

[jacklicky]

I just told my immediate family that I wanted no visitors (luckily DH's family are all interstate so I knew they weren't going to pop in).
I thought it was best to let them know in advance so whenever I spoke to them before the birth I kept saying....no visitors until I'm up to it.....

Not sure my mum believed me but she did when I had her and told her I just wanted to get home and settled before I had visitors.

That said I settled better than I though so had visitors pretty soon after but I felt like I was in control of when they came....

Goodluck

[Cranky Kitten]

Bahaahahaha Roses that's gold!

Fwiw, I wouldn't *dream* of turning up without calling first at any my friends/family's places even under normal circumstances, so I really don't get how people think it's ok to just "pop around"? Let alone a family with a new baby - I'm like Nae, text message my congratulations/well wishes and then wait until invited to come visit.

[delphmoon]

No hun your not the only one, I am always reluctant to visit a new family. I send a text to see how their going, wish them well and let them know that I am happy to wait until they give me the green light x

Maybe you can come and educate DH's family...LOL

[Sunny Love]

No, not at all. Just explain (I found it necessary to explain to ppl why I didn't want visitors).
My answer was always = "we're settling in first togther as new beings, we'd like visitors soon, and its important to us and me that we're settled and comfortable with each other").. I actually had to recite and repeat this to most of my family and friends (ie great nanny and DP's mum). Be bold in what you say, and stand your ground. Shake with fear and they will walk all over you.

In saying all this, we kept DS' actual birth a secret. We told only my parents because they had DD overnight, and I knew labour was ineveitable at the time. 15 mins after his delivery, my In-laws were all around. I told them my sentence (as above) and they really respected my desire to BOND with my new baby. Never had a problem since

At the end of the day, its your choice. If they don't respect it, make an excuse-put baby in the car and drive elsewhere for a nice healthy walk.
x

xx

[Cherished]

We didn't tell anyone ds was born until the next morning and we didn't have any visitors in the hospital. We just told them that we didn't want any visitors and didn't give any reason. When we came home we settled in and told people that we would let them know when we were ready to have visitors at home. It turned out it was a week before dh's mum and dad saw him and it was one week and one day until my parents (who were here from interstate) saw him. Be strong, it's your life and your baby and you get to be in control. That time we had with ds was amazing and so bonding and it can never be taken away from us or gotten back if we had of not had it.

[NaeNae]

Maybe you can come and educate DH's family...LOL

if I cannot educate my own I don't think I'd have a hope in hell in educating anyone elses