OK I'm in NZ where you can either have an independent midwife look after you during your pregnancy an dbe with you at the birth and look after your after birth care. If you go this route, the government pays for the lot - no outlay on my part.

The other option is to go with a private obstetrician. I'm not keen on this option for a couple of reasons. One is the cost, its like $4000 and I know loads of other things I'd rather spend the money on! And the second is that from what I've read (and please correct me if I'm wrong) most obs won't let you have an active birth which is what I want.

Now my issue is with my friend who is the only other mother I know in NZ who hasn't had to have an obs for medical reasons. (my SIL had to have obs due to her health issues - so thats fine. If I do have an issue, then I'll go to on obs and pay the money. No problems with that at all.) She is very pro-cesear, pro-bottle feeding etc etc. She has already been going on at me to call her obs and book in and see her and have th whole thing with her obs too.

I'd so much rather just go with a midwife who encourages an active birth, in a birthing centre where I can have a water birth, rather then in a hospital where I can't!

Any ideas how i can say "butt out, this is my birth and althought I appreaciate your friendship, this is my baby and I want to give birth the way I want to give birth!" I mean I've had two years to think about the type of birth I want so I've done loads of research etc.

Argh! She is just a pain!!