I wouldn't say anything, because you might change your mind on the day. I'd just nod and smile when people say stupid things and then do what feels right when you get there.

I didn't want anyone to know I was in labour, but when I was in early labour I allowed hubby to tell the IL's. They IL's were very unlikely to just rock up (unlike my parents). I had no intention of staying long in the hospital so when I was told I had to hang around a couple of hours for the paed to discharge Oliver, we invited the IL's into the birth suite to see him (this was after I had a shower). I felt so great when I got home that my parents plus a bunch of my extended familly, SIL and her family, and some of our friends came around. We ended up going to the Thai place around the corner for dinner.

I'm glad I got all the visiting out of the way while I was full of endorphins, because on day 2 I felt like I'd been run over, and on days 3 and 4 I had the blues. I didn't anticipate I'd be up to seeing anyone but I really wanted to show off my new baby after my hard work. So I'd keep an open mind about visitors.

For birth attendants I just wanted hubby and noone else and I was pretty blunt about that, but noone offered to attend anyway so it wasn't an issue.