Fj - maybe help her write a birth plan? Start off with pain relief etc, and then set limits as for time etc - that way she might know that if it does get too bad, she can go for the c/s and not feel guilty, and empower her to continue with VB.

Maybe also take her to visit some "friends" of either of you who have just had a c/s, or who won't gloss over how wonderful it is?

Also help her write a feeding plan maybe - let her know that it doesn't matter what happens, the midwives will tug and pull at her boobs for those first feeds anyhows. She may be one of those lucky people who can b/f easily - if she likes going shopping, for example, or camping, then she won't have to worry about formulae, sterilising bottles etc. Also that the option of b/f with formulae top-up is available to her ...

Either way, if she wants to make the choices, as long as they are informed choices, that's the best you can do! And then support her