Pressure to have an epidural

[shan23]

Yes I got that with DS, and now again with #2 DP has already started. The thing is, I did end up with an epi with DS, and I get it the other way. "Oh I bet you're glad to have had one!" etc etc. NO, I was NOT glad. NO, it was not because I couldnt handle labour and the pain with it. It was because I was told I was ready to push when I wasnt, and after 3 hours I was exhausted and couldnt stop my body from then pushing so I could relax and finish dilating properly. People bang on about how "good" it must have been when I got it, its like they turn deaf when I explain why I got it and that it didnt even work properly anyway and I still felt everything as normal except the contractions (stupid ob didnt believe me either when I said I could feel the pain of him stitching me and it was agony). And now DP with #2 thinks I should just go straight to it, he thinks I am crazy for wanting to deliver drug-free. Its caused us some big arguments actually, he thinks I should consider drugs to make HIM feel better about me being in labour .......... Lol yep. Its our baby so he should get a say apparently. anyway i am off topic now lol.

Idk why people care so much on how others birth their babies, why do some seem to feel so threatened by a natural drug free birth??

[TickToc]

Thank you to everyone who has posted on this thread! In march 2001 i had DD who was 8 days over & weighed 9lb 12 and the only pain relief I had was gas. Fast forward to now & I am in a different, healthier & happier relationship & we are TTC. Due to the fact DD was quite big & was stuck for awhile combined with the fact my DP is a big man & was born big (his mum told me the worst part was getting his shoulders out, she thought they were going to break) & everyone's telling me to book for cs or have an epi but I don't want one! I love the idea of having a baby with the man I love & the pain of giving birth is out weighed by the joy of giving life. Reading this thread as strengthened my resolve to go natural so thank you Now all I have to worry about it getting UTD

[Butterfly Dawn]

Just say 'actually there is a pretty big prize for doing it naturally, you wouldn't believe the feeling!'

Love it!
I agree, the empowerment is amazing.

[veus]

I got that a lot before we had DD. at that time I didn't know how to respond because I've never had a baby before. So I smiled and nodded and proceeded to ignore their future comments. If we have a 2nd one, I will most likely say 'I've done without it so why start now?'

[PumpkinZulu]

I got that a lot before we had DD. at that time I didn't know how to respond because I've never had a baby before. So I smiled and nodded and proceeded to ignore their future comments. If we have a 2nd one, I will most likely say 'I've done without it so why start now?'

I had friends of my mum laugh and say the whole "talk to me after the baby" thing when I mentioned I wanted a natural drug free birth with DD1. Admittedly, this was someone who had an epidural as soon as she was 4cm. I didn't smile and nod. I told people I know I can do it, many other women do and the human race would be wiped out if women couldn't give birth without drugs seeing as that's a relatively new thing to do. Two natural, drug free births later (one being a Homebirth) people don't say that much anymore lol.

[lilima]

And it is not helped by shows like Kardashians that comment about there being no way they would do it without an Epi!

[2CheekyMonkeys]

I wish I didn't have an epi! I just couldn't hack the pain!!!

I agree, just smile and nod. I think it's a great thing to have a drug free birth as your goal!

[bellany]

The only pressure I get to have an epi is from every doctor/ob/registrar at my hospital.
Every single appointment I have to go over and over how I wont be having one. Im told its policy for twins... but how can it be policy? They can't force a needle into your spine its still a choice. Their policy doesnt trump my wishes or consent (or lack thereof)

[Marley&Me]

Wow, I'm surprised so many people IRL are supporting the epidural. I actually don't know of anyone that has had an epidural. I am considering it, but only as a last resort (and if theres still time) and this is only because i don't want my first birth to become traumatic and leave horrible memories. When I mention this people say "No way, don't do it" and things like that.

I really hope I don't wuss out and have one, but I wanted to die from 6 weeks of morning sickness. Was the most horrible thing I have ever, ever experienced! So maybe I am a wuss?

[Mrs P]

My OB is keen for me to have an epidural as I'm going for a VBAC, so I guess in his mind its potentially safer/easier/faster if something goes wrong if I've already got an epidural in. I've told him I want to try a tens machine and possibly gas & air first, and if I want an epidural I will ask for one.... So far he is accepting of this.

[~mamaspice~]

Oh dear. I'm sure they mean well, but they are clearly uninformed. Epidurals have their place don't get me wrong, but there are lots of good reasons not to have one. People don't realize that like all interventions they have risks. Just smile and say, thanks, but I think I'll be fine