I had a traumatic labour in 2010 with my youngest- I was lied to and treated like **** by the midwives, they made me determined to never have any more children simply from the way I was treated.
Despite being on the pill and using condoms, I've discovered I'm 10 weeks pregnant, and will have to return to the same hospital.
I'm absolutely terrified of labor and birth now, (funny since my first was an epi and so calm), any advice on what I can do to get through this?
My doctor is aware but his big answer is "it all depends on who's on that day"..
I have been told I can have a c-section to avoid the whole issue.. But I don't know what I feel about the healing time and not being able to be as hands on with the new bundle..
Welcome to the forum and congratulations on your new pregnancy. I'm so sorry you have experienced trauma in your last labour. It's something no woman should experience but sadly all too common. If you take a look through De-Briefing Disappointing or Traumatic Births you will find stories from women in similar circumstances to yourself who may be able to offer words of wisdom.
My personal suggestions would be to debrief your traumatic labour, and the circumstances surrounding it. You may be able to do this with an independent midwife (IM) or through the hospital but either way I think it's important you debrief before you go into birth again if you haven't debriefed already.
I would also suggest you look into a programme like calmbirthing or hypnobirthing to help you prepare for the birth. The exercises will help you remain calm for the birth and set some of your fears aside. Many women who opt for an elective CS find they help with the preparations, and I can personally recommend them for a calm vaginal birth too.
Lastly consider having some extra support for the labour, either in the form of an IM or a doula. Having an IM does not mean you need to have a home birth if you don't want one. But many IM's will accompany you to hospital in a supportive role which may give you more confidence for the birth. This could be helpful even if you opt for a CS.
Only you can decide if a c/s is right for you. I had one after a pretty rough 12hr labour myself. Surprisingly, despite hecoming very ill and being in a coma I was still able to care for my newborn son. It's amazing what we're capable of when our babies need us. I can only assume if a c/s goes well, the only difference between a vaginal delivery and a c/s (physically) is that the pain is in your belly, not your vajayjay.
My physical recovery was quite remarkable. I strongly suggest you consider hiring a doula or independant midwife to accompany and support you, should you opt for a natural delivery. She will be there to protect you from any kind of mistreatment, and you will be safe.
Personally, I find it heartbreaking that a healthy woman who has previously proven her ability to birth as nature intended has been treated in such a way that would lead her to choose major surgery due to her fear of a repeat performance from caregivers. I'm so sorry you suffered such an ordeal. I too was traumatised by my hospital stay, for similar reasons. This is only my personal opinion, but as someone who was left with no other option except an emergency c/s, I urge you to explore all your options of self protection before electing for surgery. I am now being told I will never have a VBAC, despite being young and fit. It seems once you've had one c/s, most caregivers will discourage any attempt at a natural birth. They do not support my preference to labour naturally in the event of a subsequent pregnancy.
It's a difficult choice. Educate yourself as much as possible and seek counsel re your previous trauma. You may be able to regain your confidence and lessen your anxiety. Remember, you've done it before, you can do it again. That said, we support you no matter what your final decision is.
Debriefing your previous experience may help you Sadly those comments "Just depends who you get on the day" pretty much sum up the sort of care available to women in Australia.
If you can hire yourself an independent midwife to provide some of your care and act as support person for the birth, that may help you. Homebirth may also be an option if you can hire an IM.
Previous traumatic labor..
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Sadly those comments "Just depends who you get on the day" pretty much sum up the sort of care available to women in Australia.
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