Welcome to the forum and congratulations on your new pregnancy. I'm so sorry you have experienced trauma in your last labour. It's something no woman should experience but sadly all too common. If you take a look through De-Briefing Disappointing or Traumatic Births you will find stories from women in similar circumstances to yourself who may be able to offer words of wisdom.

My personal suggestions would be to debrief your traumatic labour, and the circumstances surrounding it. You may be able to do this with an independent midwife (IM) or through the hospital but either way I think it's important you debrief before you go into birth again if you haven't debriefed already.

I would also suggest you look into a programme like calmbirthing or hypnobirthing to help you prepare for the birth. The exercises will help you remain calm for the birth and set some of your fears aside. Many women who opt for an elective CS find they help with the preparations, and I can personally recommend them for a calm vaginal birth too.

Lastly consider having some extra support for the labour, either in the form of an IM or a doula. Having an IM does not mean you need to have a home birth if you don't want one. But many IM's will accompany you to hospital in a supportive role which may give you more confidence for the birth. This could be helpful even if you opt for a CS.

I hope you find some help to making up your mind.

Trav
xx