Birth, like sex, can't be rushed. In many hospitals, you do get rushed because they have timetables. (One of the advantages of homebirth is that you birth your way, on your time, there's no rush and that enhances safety & wellbeing for mother & babe). I've heard of doulas covering the clock (Sheila Kitzinger wrote a great article on the effects of clock-watching on labour!) to reduce time pressure on their clients. Better than the clock, better than the bleeping machine and better than someone else inserting their fingers into you to tell your dilation (according to their estimation) is what your own body is telling you and what your own inner voice is saying. Trust your labour's own special timetable. I have heard of women who completed dilation, and had a rest for half an hour or so. No pushing urge. Just chilling out. It was like nature gave them a nice little breather before finally a real pushing urge kicked in. You're a woman, not a machine and birthing your baby does not have to be text-book or mechanically efficient anymore than conceiving your baby was in the first place!

I saw something amazing at one birth - the midwife saw no need to do any vaginal exams on my client. We just asked her to shut her eyes and imagine how dilated she thought she was. We told her that we trusted her estimation. That helped her really tune into and trust what her body was doing. (this was at a birth centre, not a hospital). When it's your first time, you can feel kinda skeptical about whether you even have any instincts (well i was anyway!) But when you're in the middle of it, all that you need will come to you.

So, what if you listen to your body, and assess yourself when you think you are fully dilated? And then wait until you really know that the pushing urge is there and work with the surges? One midwife advised my client, "if you can resist the urges, try to breathe or blow through these next few contractions. Wait till the urge is utterly compelling before you give into them and start really pushing." I thought that made sense, and right away, she was able to blow away the cx. After about half an hour, she was pushing for real.

Karina, did you have the aid of gravity when you were pushing? Sometimes moving into different positions during pushing can help distribute the pressure differently, and you get the help of gravity too.

We also tried the Sit Bone spread once. Wow - instant results. She was pushing semi-standing, leaning forward over the bed. To do the sit bone spread (from The Pink Kit), you sit down into your partner's hands, and he/she gently eases your sit bones outwards as you relax into his/her hands. Your partner is taking some of your weight, and as you relax, your sit bones are eased outwards just a fraction. Immediately, the mother could feel significant descent and there was a sudden gush of liquid. (The midwife was amazed!)
May blissful & powerful urges and surges be yours ....