Thanks for the replies.

Ali, I did get the urge to push for quite a while and the midwives were telling me not to (which is sooo not a nice feeling!!), so they did wait until I was adequately dialated, so I don't think that is what caused them giving me the epesiotomy. I think it was just that I'd had such a long pushing stage and they wanted to get DD out, wvwn though she wasn't in distress, though I was absolutely buggered.

Cat, I think a water birth would be great, I'm not sure if my hossy provides them though, I will have to ask about it. I unfortunately, can't afford to have any kind of other birth than one in a public hospital (ie no private midwives/doula/homebirth).

Sam, thanks for the info, I will have to talk to my midwives about their policies, etc...I know they can't do anything without your permission, but when a health care professional is telling you it's the best thing to do, you believe them, kwim?
I used evening primrose with DD, which may have been why my waters leaked...though never used it to do massage.
Good luck with your natural birth too