Recommend me some books to help with this fear.

[Cassius2]

Also an Ina May suggestion here. You can get her books from the library too ITH. I have found that sometimes you need to put in a request so that you can get it before it flies off the shelf though lol.

I also recommend discussing about the birth with someone in the know. It was pretty scary that they broke your waters with an OP baby generally OP presentation has a really long (sometimes up to and beyond 2 hours) of latent labour somewhere between the 6-8cm mark (ie contractions dwindle to almost naught) so that bubs can slowly slowly turn and find position in the pelvis all on their own...but obviously they need that bag of waters to be able to move ITMS. I think it would be really helpful to discuss what happened and process it all. I found doing a calmbirth course was really awesome as it is not just about coping with the birth coming up, but also about facing fear responses etc etc.

I wish you all the best and think you are totally on the right path to getting the birth you need and want xx facing a new birth after a traumatic one, does present new challenges but also new hope and the chance to take a new completely different and empowered road

[BellyBelly]

Two more not mentioned yet:

Childbirth Without Fear

“In an age where birth has often been overtaken by obstetrics, Dr ****-Read’s philosophy is still as fresh as it was when he originally wrote this book. He unpicks every possible root cause of western woman’s fear and anxiety in pregnancy, childbirth and breastfeeding and does so with overwhelming heart and empathy. Essential reading for all mothers-to-be!”

Birthing From Within

My most recommended books for birth are here.

Agree with Cassius about the debrief too.

[Beautitude]

Thanks for the suggestions! I will look into them all.

Cassius, his presentation was actually a huge surprise. He turned somewhere between 5-7 cm and we only realized when I started pushing. In hindsight it shouldn't have happened when it did but when it happened we honestly thought he was in a good position. I have been debriefing with my birth centre midwife from his birth and that is definitely helping. I just don't want to go into this birth with a fear of things happening the same. A lot of what happened was a knee jerk reaction which snowballed and caused me a great deal of harm. I want a different birth experience this time even though I will be in less than ideal circumstances. I am also looking to do a hypnobirthing course in January which I think will be beneficial.