Thanks for the suggestions! I will look into them all.

Cassius, his presentation was actually a huge surprise. He turned somewhere between 5-7 cm and we only realized when I started pushing. In hindsight it shouldn't have happened when it did but when it happened we honestly thought he was in a good position. I have been debriefing with my birth centre midwife from his birth and that is definitely helping. I just don't want to go into this birth with a fear of things happening the same. A lot of what happened was a knee jerk reaction which snowballed and caused me a great deal of harm. I want a different birth experience this time even though I will be in less than ideal circumstances. I am also looking to do a hypnobirthing course in January which I think will be beneficial.