thread: Scared 2nd Time Around?

  1. #1
    kjorgo1 Guest

    Scared 2nd Time Around?

    Is there anyone out there who is have their 2nd or subsequent baby and is scared of actually giving birth? I had a pretty easy labour and birth the first time round and only had gas but for some reason I am more scared to do it again.

    I think the first time it is all unknown and bit more exciting, this time I really am not looking forward to the whole process. I'm starting to tell myself it will be ok and relax but it is still scary. I'm sure it will be fine when the time comes but I hate to have to wait and think about it for so long.

    Is anyone feeling like this.


  2. #2
    Registered User

    Oct 2004
    Outer Eastern Subs - Melb


    I was soooo scared of labour the second time around because I had a 31 hour labour with #1. I was totally exhausted and the thought of going through it again terrified me. However, after verbalising it frequently with my mum and reading posts on BB, I accepted that it was goign to be a very different experience and that hopefully a much better one second time around. Whatever it would be, it would be different. I also read a bit about hypnobirthing for a calm way of dealing with the birth.

    Well this time around it was soooo much better. I had a 5 hour labour and delivered a much bigger child (9lb1oz instead of 7lb5oz).

    Try not to be scared, Jorja. Verbalise your fears and empower yourself with ways to deal with labour, be it an easy one again, or a harder one.

    Good luck

  3. #3
    jaggard Guest


    I think it's only natural to feel the way you are. Being your 2nd time, you do know what your in for, I was the same, I'm sure I'll worry when I fall pg with my 3rd too.
    My 1st was a 9 hour labour, posterior bub, gas, peth and an epi that only half worked, 3rd degree tear and lost a litre of blood; I was constantly wondering how my 2nd would be and was a little scared.
    However come labour day with DS, I was in labour for 2.5 hours and only had gas as things came on quite quickly, no time to worry abut it all, I was holding my bundle b4 I knew it.

    Do you do yoga, I found that helped settle the nerves and relaxed me.

  4. #4
    Registered User

    Mar 2005
    Sydney, NSW

    Jorja, I hear you!! im on number two and it's been a 7.5 year gap!! So Im pretty scared. I had an epidural last time and that was great, but I don't want one this time if I can help it, as I don't want to risk it hurting my back more. So Im pretty scared about all the pain. Because of epidural I only had the first 5 hours of contractions and then the last half hour of pushing. If my labour is just as long Im not sure i'll cope with the pain.
    Anyway, Im successfully avoiding thinking about it most of the time, just by being so unorganised. we haven't even got a cot or anything yet, so Im hoping that will keep my mind occupied up until Im due!!
    Im also trying a TENS machine this time and hoping it helps. In a way, Im hoping Im much more active in this labour and enjoy the experience more, so Im kind of excited (until the first bit of pain comes on Im sure).
    Good luck and lets hope 2nd time our labours are SHORT and easy!!!!!! xoxoox

  5. #5
    lizza Guest

    Hey webbmeg- I hear ya!! I'm in exactly the same position. 30 weeks pregs with 2nd bub after 4 years. I am heaps anxious second time round. First labour was really fast and furious no time for drugs but I had a bad 3rd dg tear. Not that anxious about the labour but I am nervous for my poor little perinium!!!

  6. #6
    oneisneverenough Guest

    I was like that in my pregnancies also.
    My first labour was horrifying, (20hr labour, epi, hemmorage) I was sure he would end up being an only child. :-k
    My 2nd pregnancy saw me absolutely terrified the whole way through, only to end up with a 1.5hr labour.. no pain relief at all. He was born with 2 pushes. (My first son, I pushed for 2hrs!)
    My following 3 labours only got easier and easier.. yet I still freaked out at the thought of an upcoming labour.
    So, it's just a natural process to be frightened.

  7. #7
    Registered User

    Jan 2005
    Down by the ocean

    I was a bit scared too. I think it's only natural though.
    Instead try to remember how wonderful it was meeting your baby and focus on that.

  8. #8
    leabdea Guest

    I think it's totally normal for us to worry a bit during pregnancy, especially about what our labour and birth will be like.

    And our natural tendency to worry a bit can be a great seek out ways to prepare ourselves for birth, whether it's sorting out any issues/fears from last time, or practising some relaxation/awareness techniques so that they can be used most effectively during labour.

    You might like the book "Birthing From Within" by Pam England. I bought it at my local health food shop but if you can't find it in a bookshop then you could get it from amazon. It has lots of great ideas about fun ways to get in touch with your feelings from your previous birth....and also ideas for things you can practise getting ready for your next birth (like breath awareness, relaxation techniques etc).

    And I second the Yoga suggestion!

  9. #9
    Registered User

    Jul 2005
    Rural NSW

    Oh dear... I'm expecting my third child after two previous long and hard labours (20+hrs)... the second one wasn't any easier although at least I didn't have to go into those hellish stirrups!!! Maybe because there was a 9 year gap it was hard... hopefully with a smaller gap this time it will be easier! :-s