Okay so I'm 41 weeks tomorrow. Had my last dr appt on Wednesday where I agreed to book an induction for Tuesday night/Wednesday (19th/20th). To be honest I thought I'd go into labour before then.

I've had 2 S&Ss, lost my plug and have been having contractions that are increasing in regularity and intensity but are only uncomfortable not painful (ie not in labour!). I was 1cm dilated on Wednesday at drs and midwife said I was the same on Saturday when I had my second s&s.

I have spent a good portion of this pregnancy focussing on being positive and gathering information on everything. I have felt empowered and excited about my birth journey until yesterday morning where I woke up and it hit me. I'm terrified. I doubt I'll go into labour naturally before Tuesday afternoon. I feel like I've cheated myself and my baby out of a natural birth by agreeing to the induction and not fighting to postpone it. I no longer feel empowered. I feel helpless and scared.

I just want to curl up in a ball and be left the hell alone by medicos, well meaning hubby and parents and friends. I don't even want to go to the hospital at all. I don't want anyone to touch me. I just want to hide in a cave somewhere with just me and my baby. I sound bonkers but it is how I feel.

I want and need to be empowered again or this birth is going to turn to **** I just know it. I might as well go straight to a c-section if I can't get my head back in the right place. DH and my mum (who is staying with us ATM) try to be supportive but just sprout freaking statistics at me and tell me why they want to induce me etc and that nothing else matters except a healthy baby at the end yadayada. True but not true you know.

Has anyone else felt like this and what did you do to get over it. Positive induction stories? Even if you didn't feel like this can you offer any positive but not patronizing affirmations please? I don't know, I just need some help to get my birthing earth mumma mojo back and to stop crying about it and I'm not getting what I need from my support team IRL. They just don't get it.

I'm stuck in this negative and freaked out mindset and just want to give up (or run away ). I need to give birth in just over 48 hours and I'm exhausted from the stressing.


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