Noooooo! Your DH has it the wrong way round! Tearing is much much better for you as you will only tear as much as you need to tear, and often the tear doesn't even include the underlying muscle and can be small and superficial, but with an epi, you are cut through muscle and all and it aint a small cut by any means. I had an epi with my first and was cut in the 4 o'clock position - if you were looking at a vagina like it was a clock face, it would have been about where 4 o'clock would be. I couldnt' sit properly for weeks and it felt like I was sitting on rose thorns because I could feel evey single one of the stitches. But when I tore with my next two, I never felt a thing, it healed really well and really quickly and the scarring is minimal.