My birth stories are in my sig (but I have to redo dd)
I never, ever thought about drugs. Being at home meant it wasn't an option, and I knew that painful contractions meant the baby was coming! (both mine were well positioned so I knew the pain was normal). You have to have the mindset that pain is good. Painful contractions are productive...your body can deal with it because it is you, and nothing more.

Birthing from within is a great book

Pushing is often the best part because the breaks between contractions are more obvious, and you're so close. The ring of fire bloody hurt the first time, but it's literally for a few seconds and then it's all over.

Transition is hard because the contractions come on top of each other, and you often get really emotional. I didn't with ds, but with dd I felt angry. Pushing is blissful after transition I reckon...it feels cathartic.

I truly loved giving birth because I prepared myself and had a very supportive environment. Would you consider a doula or midwife?