DD was born at 39+3, weighing 3.895 kg (I think that's about 8lb 9 oz), 52cm long and head circ was 34.5. I was told that she was long-ish for her weight, but head was only average.
I did tear (not badly), but that was probably only because I got impatient and just pushed really hard, maybe a little too hard.
Heads can mold, pelvises stretch, the position of the mother (ie. squatting, lying on back) and the presentation of the baby's head have a lot to do with it, too. So I guess just comparing head sizes is not very representative of hoiw hard or easy a birth will be. Your attitude is the most important factor, I believe.
Some people believe in massaging the perineum during pregnancy to soften it. Others like to apply warm oil during crowning. Breathing the head out is said to help, too, as it gives the perineum time to stretch.
Water birth is said to have a lower incidence of tearing, too. Some think this is because the skin is more pliable in the warm water, others think it is because the mother is more relaxed and not lying back. Still others think it is because of a lack of "coaching" and interventions by care providers and a more natural approach.
I firmly believe that the healthy female body is not in the habit of growing babies that are too big for this body to birth. Kelly has posted a link somewhere to a site where you can see tiny little Mexican women give birth to babies with heads that look huge for them. I'll have a look if I cann find it for you. It's amazing. All homebirths, too.
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