Labour: That walking around really helps and to keep taking deep deep breaths.. For a c/s ( I had 3) that it hurts like all hell to stand for the first time but if you breathe deeply and keep your shoulders straight then it isn't so bad
First few days: That day 3-5 can be just plain horrible. Baby will cry a lot and want to feed a lot but that is all to do with Bfeeding (was in my case anyways)
that no matter how great you think your newborn is sleeping it will get worse then better then worse again lol..
Not sure if I can think of anything else right now.. for me those were the big things I wished I knew
Labour - that it doesn't matter how much reading and preparing you do, when push comes to pushing your hindbrain takes control and you can't remember all those things. Drill your birth support. Ask them what they will do when XYZ... tell them to ask if you want a drink every 10 minutes... basically, they're your walking brain. They do the higher thinking for you. So get them into the right brainspace! (DH was a bit crap at this, if you can't tell.)
New Baby - Just tell everyone else where to shove it. Your baby, your rules. You CANNOT over-breastfeed and it is NOT spoiling them to have a cuddle. Co-sleeping won't kill your baby and breastfeeding will not kill you. (What other advice did I have... oh yes, sleeping while baby sleeps in the first few weeks means you get bored of sleep for the only time of your parenting life.) You know your child best. If a visitor comes and you're in a salt bath and baby's asleep, even if they're midwives or the like, get your OH to tell them where to go. Just for half a bleeding hour! Also, it's OK not to be all "bond"y and "in love": if you're a more reserved person, as I am, it's very normal and a lot more rewarding to have the love slowly grow over time than it is for a rush of something you aren't sure about then... what? Not sure what happens with bonding, only that it didn't here!
I wish I'd known that not all babies like to be wrapped - I may have been able to get more sleep in hospital if I'd twigged earlier that it was my wrapping him that made him cry, not my putting him down...
I wish I'd slapped the night-shift midcow when it first occurred to me that it would be well-deserved.
I wish I'd insisted that they help me co-sleep safely at the beginning so that I didn't end up so sleep-deprived that it was no longer a safe option anyway.
After the birth - rest rest rest rest rest. and tell everyone to jump if they don't like it. It took till my 2nd to work out how beneficial it is to just stay in bed with your baby for the first few weeks.
For my 3rd I came straight home and jumped back into bed with dd and stayed there till I felt like coming out.
OOOHHHH the hemorrhoids - gosh !!!!! Labour is easy compared to the hemorrids you can sometimes get afterwards!!!!!!
And the little 'scratches' on your labia that burn when you go to toilet afterwards...and what to do and how to sit....
Read all about labour in the first 6 months then read all about baby care in your 7-9 month and just touch up on labour in the last month too.
There is no time to figure out what to do with baby once they are born you have to the wing'it. I was so worried about the birth i never read about baby care and gosh was I in for a shocker cause it doesn't always come naturally.
1st baby labour - sometimes there is no urge at all to push but that you can still push.
1st baby after birth - breastfeeding doesn't come naturally,
within the first 12months - sleep every chance you get and a mother must follow her instincts if she suspects something is wrong with their child.
2nd baby labour - can be a MUCH shorter labour and before you have even thought about calling your MW you could have a sudden huge urge to push!!!
2nd baby after birth - no two babies are the same - I kinda new this but sometimes one can be anxious about certain thing unnecessarily and that breast feeding can be easy and natural. (I was so nervous after my 1st child)
Like many other Ladies have already mentioned I wish I'd been more prepared for the struggles of establishing breastfeeding. I'd expected it to be so easy and was so devastated when it all went south in the days following the birth.
I also wish I was more prepared for the "baby blues", I'd assumed I'd just get a bit teary one day and then it would all be over, I didn't expect to be a total mess for the first 5 days after our birth, I felt absolutely useless and couldn't understand why I wasn't bonding with my baby.
I'd also go back and tell all my family and friends to not expect to visit untill a few weeks after the birth.
Labour - how hard it would be for DH to see me in that pain, and that he needed 'time out', and how exhausting it would be (see next point), no matter how it ends...oh and that barley sugar and staminade would be such a good friend (about the only things of use that I packed in my hospital bag)
First few days
1. how exhausted I would be - I remember the nurses trying to get ds to BF, and I was so tired I could not sit up or keep my eyes open!
2. how hard BF would be and for how long!
3. that it is not always 'love at first sight' - i still remember looking into the cot at DS and thinking 'is he really mine', and wondering if I was meant to kiss him each time I put him down in his cot for a sleep (I did not 'naturally' feel the need/desire to - much different to now)...I was so stressed about if this was normal, but to worried to ask someone as I was afraid that I was 'abnormal' and that they would come and take my baby away from me because I was not going to be a good mother!
4. that no matter how hard people tell you motherhood is, you dont really belive it till you live it!
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