what everyones telling me

[Yael]

I don't think anyone can accurately predict how anyone else will fair in labour.

I heard 2 main schools of thought going into it - it was so hard, there is no way you can do it without pain relief etc etc, and its so easy you just have to try and want it hard enough.

I got to around 7cm before i had anything, and i spent those 18 hours saying how much easier it was then i thought it was going to be.. I'm not saying it wasn't painful, but i was picturing the full on worse contraction for 24 hours straight! It just isn't like that...

But you do have to be prepared and have support to get through it (i.e. people counting the time left on the contraction to help you focus - if thats what helps you... i found it was very much like exercise, when DH stands next to be on the treadmill saying 1 min left, 50 sec left, i can do it)

At 7cm i had the gas, and at 9.5cm when i think my son turned posterior (well, he was def. posterior, i think this was about the time it happened, as it suddenly went from mageable to extreme).

I went it there hoping for as little pain relief as i could manage with, but even with everything i had, i don't feel like i ever needed an epi (and i had so many people telling me to call ahead and book one in cos i was a wuss and wouldn't make it through 1 hour... haha i showed them - especially my mum!)

I did ask for a c-section (without meaning it really), also in transition, but you say crazy stuff then.

The point of my post was just to say,

1) it wasn't as bad as some people make out, for me at least, but for others it is really bad and they do need it. You have the trust and listen to your own body, and do what you need, and don't listen to anyone around you (if you do need it, its ok, and you don't need to impress anyone either)

2) Things might not go to plan, and don't get your heart set on a drug free birth, because you might end up disappointed with yourself afterwards.

But don't listen to anyone who tells you what your labour will be like. Nobody knows, you don't even know how you will react, but we can do it, and don't think its impossible either,

As as interesting aside, i know a lady who has 15 children (16 labours though), and she tells me every pregnancy is different, and every labour is different also.

If its different for her, how can anyone compare between women???

[Janie]

Everyone asks what my 'plans' are, but I've stopped telling them TBH. I'm sick and tired of people saying "you don't have to be a martyr, just ask for the drugs, better yet, book in the epidural before you get to hospital". What sort of a defeatist attitude is that?!!!!! I might well end up with an epi and/or pethidene, but I'm going to try my hardest not to. I am educating myself and my DH in the hope that I can have a drug free labour (well, I'm not opposed to having nitrous!).

I'm sick of people relating it to things like "would you have a tooth out without an anaesthetic?". It's not comparing apples with apples, and you know what, if I want to try for a natural labour and delivery, then why would anyone else care? It's not a competition, I'm not bothered by others' choices, so why are people bothered with mine? And worse, trying to influence one of the most important events in our lives? Am I bad person for wanting to avoid? Or just an idiot LOL!

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr, it really gives me the $hits (as you can probably tell!). I for one am trying to only listen to the people who have positive expreiences to relate to me.

[*Efjay*]

I'm sick of people relating it to things like "would you have a tooth out without an anaesthetic?". It's not comparing apples with apples, and you know what, if I want to try for a natural labour and delivery, then why would anyone else care?

Thats right, its not like Teeth where made to be ripped from our gums! But our uterus was made for pushing out a baby.

[Janie]

Thanks FJ It's so nice to be able to come on here and be surrounded by supportive women.

[~Debbie~]

Thats right, its not like Teeth where made to be ripped from our gums! But our uterus was made for pushing out a baby.

Thats what i think as well. This is the way we where created, and babies where made to come out this way. Whilst i think a trap door in our tums would of been a better idea (God was certainly male), our bodies where designed to birth babies, and we have been doing it for 1000's of years.