thread: What helped you in labour?

  1. #1
    ♥ BellyBelly's Creator ♥
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    Feb 2003
    Melbourne, Victoria, Australia, Australia

    What helped you in labour?

    Hey guys,

    This is a topic for discussion but also because I am writing an article for birth partners (mainly men but not limited to) about what women and what they like in terms of support in labour. What did you find beneficial when you were giving birth which required the assistance of your birth partner? Massage? Soothing words? Encourangement? Hot showers?

    What would you like your support partner to do / not to do while you are in labour? (given this can change on the day!!). If you don't want your comments included in the article please let me know. I'll only refer to you if you are happy to do so, or I can make the comments anonymous. Thanks!

    Kelly xx

    Creator of, doula, writer and mother of three amazing children
    Author of Want To Be A Doula? Everything You Need To Know
    In 2015 I went Around The World + Kids!
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  2. #2
    Registered User

    Nov 2004
    Giving the gift of life to a friend..

    My partner was not with me when i was in labour..I had my Mum & Sister... Basically just having them there with me was reassurance that all was OK, the MIdwife was an absolute dream, so kind & friendly, they left us alone alot, which was good it meant I could focus on what I was doing & talk to Mum & Sis...
    The hot bath definately helped me too. I did not want anyone touching me though, but Mum did rub my lower back when I asked & stopped when she got a look apparently.....???

  3. #3
    Registered User

    Sep 2004
    Sydney's Norwest

    It might sound really basic but I actually forget to breathe. I hold my breath when concentrating or in pain so a gentle reminder occasionally is great. Also massage or counter pressure on my lower back was great. Small talk and knowing when to shut up and just leave me to it is equally important.

    Take care

  4. #4

    Andrew and mum were with me in labour. I just wanted to hold andrew hand so i could squeeze it when i was going thru bad contractions. I was one that just wanted the comfort knowing someone was there iykwim, nobody was really allowed to talk to me when I was having bad contractions, if they did I would be thinking to myself "just shut up"


  5. #5
    Registered User

    Sep 2004
    Sydney's Norwest

    LOL Kathryn, I am like that with my BH this time. Imagine what I'll be like come the real thing. Nobody will be aloud to breathe out loud. Except for me that is

    Take care

  6. #6
    Registered User

    Apr 2003
    Western Australia

    Mark just gave me hugs and got a wet flannel to cool my head (as the aircon was out in the hospital #-o )

    He also let me have an epidural!! (but promptly left the room for that part - woos!!)


  7. #7
    Life Member

    May 2003
    Beautiful Adelaide!

    Andrew was with me during my whole labour & he was great. He quickly realised that talking to me through labour was a no-no.......whilst I love his chit chat normally, it really drove me mad during labour.

    I spent a lot of time in the shower and he had his swimmers on ready to join me, but I declined his offer .....I just wanted to be in there by myself concentrating on breathing through the pain.

    As we went into the delivery suite he was great: he made himself really useful to my OB and the midwife and got music organised and stuff. It was lovely knowing he was just there doing all the right things.

    During the actual birth his words of love and encouragement were fantastic & I swear I must have nearly crushed his hand, but he bore it well.

    Afterwards he could not stop cuddling me and Olivia and telling us how pround he was and how much he loved us both.......this was fantastic and just what I needed.

  8. #8
    Registered User

    Nov 2003

    I had my ex and his mum in there with me.
    Talking was deffinatly a no no while i was in labour, especially when he tried to tell me to have more gas and i said it wasnt helping but they insisted i had to have some, i was getting really mad..

    massage helped a little and so did a nice warm bath..i dont really remember what else helped, oh they stuck with my plan, they wouldnt let me have any ohter pain relife then what i had told them before hand so i was grateful for that..

    take care

  9. #9
    *Yvette* Guest

    - a warm bath
    - cold wash cloths for the face
    - warm wash cloths for the other end
    - juice to drink & little nibbly snacks (like pieces of orange)
    - being touched lightly
    - not being touched
    - a hand to hold
    - music
    - quiet, calm reassurance
    - talking to me calmly
    - not yelling push push push at me like on tv
    - tuning into me to know when to talk/not talk, touch/not touch
    - quiet voices when baby is born, no screeching or squealing

    Having good support people is fantastic.

  10. #10
    Custardtart Guest

    Hmm... what did my husband do during labour?
    Well, he took a wrong turn on the way to the hospital and ended up negotiating the car over speed bumps through the back streets while I was groaning through contractions in the back seat of the car.....

    Seriously though, he was there to do whatever I asked, although I mostly just wanted him to stay out of the way. When I needed to walk to speed the labour on he walked with me and held me up through the contractions, and gave me a hand to hold later on when I was lying down.
    He held the shower nozzle directed towards my back when I was in the shower, but kept moving it 'wrong' so I made him stop.


  11. #11
    Registered User

    Mar 2005


    Kelly, I coulndn't have lived without DH's encouraging words and SIL's hand and advise for the second.

    Wanted DH just for the first birth as very special, if we have a third then I'll ask SIL again.xx

  12. #12
    Registered User

    May 2004

    Rob was with me the whole time during labor. All I wanted from him was his hand to squeeze. I defintiely didn't want him to tell me to relax, breathe in more gas etc.. (although he did until I told him to shut up) He did rub my back for a while, until I had enough of that too.

  13. #13
    BellyBelly Life Member

    Jul 2004
    House of the crazy cat ladies...

    DP encouraging me to push worked really well... but I wish he had been more encouraging throughout the rest of the labour, though I think he was quite scared and had no idea what to do. Holding my hand also worked well through the scary parts, like when they kept on botching up my drip and through the epidural.

  14. #14
    Custardtart Guest

    Getting feedback from my DH on this, I think the best thing that partners can do in this situation is:
    - be there and be supportive
    - be prepared to feel totally useless for most of the time!