thanks for replies.
i went to the docs yesterday and am feeling much more positive. he basically said that the veins hardly ever cause problems with delivery and that there were so many factors which contributed to my first birth being traumatic that we wont know more about until later in th pg.
so now i just need to get myself back in the mindset of yes i can do this! it will be different.
i also have to rest more so need to start getting more organised now, especially with xmas.